Shades Of Chase (Filipino Version) - PUBLISHED

Kabanata 28

My head was heavy the moment I unlocked my eyes. Maging ang mga talukap ko ay mahapdi dahil sa matinding pag-iyak kanina. Hindi ko na namalayan na nakatulog na ako kung hindi ko pa narinig ang malakas na langitngit ng pintuan.

Marahas akong napabangon nang makita si Chase na nakahilig sa pintuan habang seryosong nakatitig sa akin. My eyes automatically went down his body. He's wearing a fitted sweat pants, a blue shirt where there's Superman's iconic logo in the middle... and a blue bow tie wrapped around his neck.

He smiled at me.

"Hi,  Ate Tanya!" He waved his hand.

I didn't wave back nor said any words. I just kept on staring at him.

"I'm surprise to see you here. Do you happen to know those girls in the other room? I swear Mom will be furious if she saw them."

He walked towards my direction and sat on the bed beside me. Hindi niya inaalis ang tingin niya sa akin, gano'n rin ako sa kaniya. Mabilis ang bawat paghinga ko, alam na agad kung ano ang nangyayari... kung sino siya.

"Why are your eyes so puffy? Did you cry? By the way, remember my favorite candy I was telling you the last time we saw each other? Dad bought me a lot! Do you want to have a taste of it?"

He was very cheerful... like a happy kid he was.

"R-Richard..." I called out and tried to smile even though it's hard for me.

I haven't moved on from what I saw between Allistair and those girls he was with. And now, Richard is here in front of me. He's staring at me, innocent and fair. It's as if he's free from the world's cruelty when in fact, he's a victim. 

Mabigat pa rin ang dibdib ko dahil sa nangyari kanina at sa tingin ko ay hindi iyon basta-basta mawawala lalo na at pakiramdam ko, magmamarka sa utak ko ang eksenang naabutan ko kay Allistair.

Kailangan ko tanggapin, hindi ba? Kasi ginusto kong samahan si Chase. Kasi pinili kong tanggapin siya kung sino siya. Pero hindi ko na rin alam. Hindi na rin ako sigurado. Hindi ako makapag-isip nang maayos sa mga oras na ito. Gusto kong sumabog. Gusto kong umalis. Gusto ko siyang talikuran.

"You look really sad right now, Ate Tanya. What happened? You know you can share stories with me. I love hearing stories." he giggled and that's when I finally lost it.

I bow down as hysterical cry arose from my throat. Sunod-sunod ang naging pagpatak ng luha mula sa mga mata ko, nag-uunahan na bumagsak sa puting kobre kama. Halos maramdaman ko ang malaking bikig sa aking lalamunan dahilan para mahirapan akong huminga.

"Kung puwede ko lang sana sabihin sa'yo, Richard, sinabi ko na. Pero hindi mo ako maiintindihan. Hindi ikaw ang makakaintindi sa akin." garalgal ang boses na sagot ko, nananatili pa rin nakatungo.

My body flinched when I felt his hand on mine as if he's trying to comfort me. The hand that Allistair used to touch those women on their private parts. The hand he used to pull their hair while he's in pleasure. That sinful hand that used to be my comfort zone is now giving me shiver as it holds me.

"I may not be aware of what you're going through right now but I'm always here for you, Ate Tanya. Know that I'm just staying in the other room. Just knock in my door!" he giggled.

Sa kabila ng bigat na nararamdaman ay nag-angat ako ng mga mata sa kaniya. I managed to give him a little smile. Thought I'd be successful in doing that but I failed.

He brought his hand on my back and caressed it gently. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ako iiyak. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko ito dadalhin sa isip ko. Pakiramdam ko ay bigla akong napagod.