The Ape King

You Are The Reason

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It was a funny thing. Not ha ha funny. Ironic. That the horrible memories that plagued her, left her alone in her dreams. Only the good ones replayed themselves. Over and over like an old movie. Not that she minded. She preferred those to the ones she had in the day.

The rare smile that touched her lips in her sleep, dissipated as the dream came to an end.

Her eyes fluttered open. A tired sigh slipping out. Letting muscle memory take over, she rose and went to take a shower.

She emerged from her room a while later clean and dressed. Her hair was braided as it usually was but her face was devoid of any make up. She grabbed an apple and forced herself to choke it down even though she didn't feel hungry. After eating she stared off into space. Spiraling into the dark memories as they sucked her into the rabbit hole. How she desperately wanted to stop.

"Good morning, Penn."

The familiar voice jolted her. Brought her back to the present. She turned.

"Morning, Eddie." She replied with a frown.

Eddie observed her quietly and gave her a small smile.

"So, Des and I figured we could go on a trip next month."

Penny nodded distractedly.

"Okay. You two have fun. I'll hold down the fort."

Her heart ached as she realized it would be her friends' anniversary of marriage.

"No, Penn. We want you to come with us. We booked a cruise that sails to France and ends in a elegant ball dance. That's why I was to tell you in advance. So you could let your job know."

Her frown deepened as her mind registered his words.

"Why would I come? You two should enjoy your anniversary without a third wheel again. Thanks but no thanks." She shook her head and went back to her room before he could reply.

Not much caught her attention these days but her new hobby helped keep her content. Painting helped keep her mind off of things. She looked around her room. It was plain with no decorations. The only thing that gave it color was the many paintings of the Congo jungle and a man with wild amber eyes. The very same amber eyes that haunted her during the day but made her joyful at night.

She brought out all her materials needed for another painting. With it set up to her liking, she picked up a brush. Just a quick dip into a green shade and she was off. Using the brush to create. To fend off the demons in her head. Colors bloomed on the canvas. Hours passed in a slow symphony as she recreated the jungle she had called home. Different greens and browns for the jungle. Then came explosions of bright colors for the birds. A golden yellow for the lion that she was placing in. Last came him. His tanned skin and dark hair as she remembered. But not his eyes yet. She always saved the eyes for last. Her heart picked up as she mixed colors to make those bright amber eyes. She dipped her brush in the vibrant color hesitantly. A lump in her throat. Her eyes burned. She blinked back unshed tears as she took a deep breath. In her many paintings, she had never quite gotten the intense stare right. She touched the canvas and began carefully. Muffled voices disturbed her concentration. Talking outside her door made her stop to listen.

"Leave her be, Des. She said she doesn't want to go."

"I can't keep letting her do this to herself."

Her heart now sped up for a different reason. She wasn't a stranger to Eddie and Des' arguments. They were always about her. How she never went out unless it was to go to her receptionist job or to buy paint supplies. How she lost so much weight. How she hadn't spoken about the incident since it happened. How she wasn't the same bubbly person with a love for life.