chasm ･ xiao ⋆.࿔*

- chapter 4 -

(unedited)
play the above song when you see 🎵

this chapter isn't really that important to the plot, I just had one of those 2am moments and decided to write about it. I have a tl;dr at the bottom tho if you don't wanna skip it but don't wanna read it either :)

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I go up the stairs to the topmost balcony where Xiao usually stands. He wasn't there, so I decided to sit on the railing of the balcony and stare out at the sky Xiao usually looks at. The sky looked the same as the day 2000 years ago, when a specific someone passed in a field of glaze lillies.

I remember it like yesterday. Watching Guizhong and Morax, as he held her in his arms. Silently crying, for she was so much more than just a god to me. She was a mentor, a caretaker, almost a mother figure- to both me and Ganyu. I remembered, just seconds before, how I watched black dust arise around Guizhong, choking her. I wanted to forget everything that was happening in that moment, and just run over and help the person who helped me in my darkest times- but, I couldn't. I could feel Xiao and Ganyu holding me back, repeatedly saying I was not to go forward.

"It's too much of a dark aura for even adepti to handle," they said.

"You're only going to end up killing yourself," they said.

"Morax told us, no matter what is to happen, we are to stay put," they said.

I watched slowly, as Morax enveloped Guizhong in his arms during her last moments. I watched, as Guizhong handed over a box to Morax, and I could faintly hear what she said.

"Just forget about it, would you?"

Standing completely still, I watched as the goddess dissolved into the finest dust I've ever seen. I wanted to scream, I really did, but my emotions overtook me and all you could do was just stand there, watching, stuck in place.

Still staring out at the sky, I dangled m feet over the railing. I wonder what life would be like now, if she was still here. I didn't even realize a tear had rolled down my cheek. Suddenly, I remembered a lullaby Guizhong used to sing to me as a child. Lightly, I hummed it. 🎵

It was a simple lullaby that soothed me over when she found me. Whenever I was stressed, I'd just hum it to myself and all my worries would go away for a bit.

Guizhong.

The elegant goddess who turned the merciless slaughterer Morax into a benevolent god of commerce and agriculture. I wonder if she was called the God of Dust by crumbling the hard exterior of Morax.

They were deeply in love, even a bystander could tell from just looking at them. The only problem? They didn't even know what love was. By the time Morax had learned, it was already too late. It's sad how in life we don't get second chances. We only get one life, we have to decide how we're gonna live it. My life is just slaughtering demons along with my best friend, and honestly it can't get better.

Although, there's a common misconception about immortality. It seems like a dream, when really it's the opposite. Immortality isn't living forever. That's not how it feels like. It's just watching everyone you love die.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice Xiao appearing beside me. I could tell he knew what I was thinking about.

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a/n

dont we just love those 2am moments

this entire chapter was written by me because beanut seems to have forgotten that this book existed lmao

a few of the lines are from the above melody on yt (the more popular video that I couldn't add because it wouldn't play), you'll recognize them if you've watched the video

also

d i d i j u s t q u o t e j u m a n j i

iykyk

I swear that wasn't intentional

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tl:dr

Y/n sits on the balcony and reminisces guizhongs death. She remembers what Guizhong was like and sings a melody that Guizhong taught her.