sorry i killed your girlfriend | iwaoi

4- the big plan.

i spent hours writing the letter, i discovered i lacked a plan. "emery, what should i do. you fucking ugly hag." i looked at the letter in my hand and pondered what my next move should be. i kinda liked the idea of just dying on sight after he read the letter.

but i just don't know if thats the approach i should be aiming towards. and the cops idea would be asinine. "emery you are of no assistance!" honestly in this moment i felt kinda weird. i had always wanted to be some big president in my own boardroom but i'm kind of getting that vibe you know?

like i'm some big entrepreneur, around a big oval desk, with a bunch of scared employees are trying to give me more ideas on how i'm going to be ending the world. except, its just a seventeen year old boy, a dead girl, and a very persistently judgmental cat in a five by five square room.

weird scenery, am i right? any who, i get up just to dig through my closet, if i'm gonna go out, its gonna be with a bang damnit! i know somewhere i have some tacky suit i wore last year to homecoming, spoiler alert, i went a-fucking-lone.

most people think i'm rude or ugly, or that if I look at them a spear will fly through their chest. its an ironic fate, since my best friend has people surrounding him at all times. i had always wondered what it was like to be him.

so loved, so unafraid of people leaving him. he was full of love, whilst i was deprived of it. if i could, i would give him every last drop of love i had, if it made him slightly happier. even though i know i'm worthless, if he was happy, i'd do it. without a thought to my mind.

i feel like i'm on a show, like a freeform show. depressed bad boy, no love from mom or dad, shit step dad who at least tries, and a polar opposite best friend. i'd say i could be a shameless character, but i'm not that cool, save that for somebody who has a personality that is consistent.

and not even a good freeform show either, a shitty one seasoned show where a good half of the episodes are in some coffee shop that is obviously a rip off from friends. the show doesn't get renewed, and this is just the last episode. i know it..

i throw my clothes onto my once neat floor, in desperation to find the stupid suit. it reminded me of him, somebody spiked the punch, oikawa drank so much of it when i was carrying him home he barfed on me. leaving a giant stain in the middle.

I wasn't pissed off or anything, its kinda funny to me, how i spent so much money on this suit for it to be ruined by doing a good deed. when i told oikawa what had happened, he felt so bad, but all i could do was laugh.

such a silly thing to dread on, that was oikawa. you'd think he would just hand me money and tell me to move on, but he's actually a pretty sympathetic person. he cried because he killed a bug once, which was funny as hell to me.

then i found it. still stained, still perfect. it was about four thirty now, i had two hour and thirty minutes before i need to get to school. i took off my clothes, and realized she was watching, which was awkward.. so i shut her eyes permanently.

then i slipped on the pants, buttoning them and zipping them up. still fits like a glove... i put on the white undershirt, and it took an easy five fucking minutes just buttoning it. which is not fun right! i even rolled up the sleeves.

i put on the jacket part and tied a tie. chris taught me how to do that, he also taught me how to shave and do the macarena. for a step dad, he's better than my actual father, and its why i'm grateful for him. even if he makes me do errands for him.

he also has some wackass friends, they all call him boss and are hippies, its kinda funny. but my mom hates them, so they can't come over often. but they are fun when they are over!!

i took the last swig of my beer, and brushed my teeth. i decided to take a quick nap, it wouldn't hurt to get some sleep, to make me less irrational. when i woke up, it was five thirty seven. and time to do it. even if I wasn't fully prepared.

i grabbed the letter, fixed my suit and tie. brushed a hand through my hair, and washed my face. i went into my kitchen and opened the medicine cabinet, i looked over to make sure chris was still asleep.

and when i saw the coast was clear, i placed my hand on a bottle of advil. its time to do this shit, and nobody is going to stop me. i slipped on my shoes, its about five fifty now, oikawa always leaves at five forty to walk with emery. poor oikawa..

"bye chris, i'm out." i screamed out, for chris i'm his alarm clock.

its finally time to do this shit.