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Moonlit Songs ★ Aroha

*★*――――*★*★*――――*★*

Moonlit Songs written by wolfies_readtoo

Reviewer : FangirlHere1234

*★*――――*★*★*――――*★*

Title: 10/10

Blurb: 8/10

Cover: 7/10

First chapter: 8/10

Character development: 7/10

Plot: 7/10

Grammar: 9/10

Writing style: 8/10

Creativity: 7/10

Enjoyment: 9/10

*★*――――*★*★*――――*★*

TOTAL: 80/100

*★*――――*★*★*――――*★*

Review:

➼ Your title is perfect. The word 'Moonlit' refers to werewolves while the word 'Songs' refers to the sirens. 

➼ The blurb, according to me, revealed too much information. You've mentioned that after meeting Xander and Thea, Astrea gets caught in a war between the werewolves and sirens. After reading that I knew that Xander would be a werewolf and Tea would be a siren. Instead, you can possibly not mention their names. That way it will keep the readers more intrigued.

➼ The cover was good although I feel like the cover could be made better. The blue color of the cover is good but the sea looks too bright and clashes with the blue of the sky. I feel like you could use a dark blue, like the color for the sky, for the entire cover. You can also try to add a werewolf into the picture so the readers know what the story is about. Also, I really liked the font used in the middle cover of the header of the first chapter. The one with two Os intertwined. You can use that font.

➼ The first chapter starts off in an interesting way. The part of her swimming lets us know that she likes that sport. It is an unusual way to start a book and it catches the reader's attention. The meeting with Xander was rather cliché. She collides with someone and that someone turns out to be a hot guy and the future love interest. However, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Some clichés cannot be avoided and clichés are clichés because people love them so much. The little details like the earbuds falling make the story more interesting and realistic.

➼ Certain characters had a lot of personality while the others characters had a similar personality. You might want to change that. For example, at the very starting of the story, Astrea seems like a very determined and strong willed person who wanted to break her previous swimming record but in the middle of the story, she became very dependent on Xander. On her first encounter with the wolves, she simply falls to her knees when the siren chokes her. Make her struggle a bit. Perhaps she could claw at her neck, trying to relieve the pressure. When someone is that close to choking, the survival instincts kick in and it is natural to use your hands and try to save yourself. 

Also, characters such as Xander and Thea don't have very standing out personalities. They seem very similar. Give the characters some hobbies or characteristic qualities. The character could be smart, flirty, short tempered, competitive, serious, cheerful... there are endless possibilities. The only character whose personality was properly developed was Charlotte. By reading her dialogues, you come to know that she is a very motherly kind of person.

➼ The plot looks good so far. The sirens vs werewolves plot is interesting. However, the story was extremely fast paced. If a stranger who I met only twice, asked me to run away from my family and live with him, I would definitely not agree. Instead, you can catalyze the event. You can have the sirens attack her house and nearly hurt her brother or father and that scares her. She then agrees to leave to protect her family. That seems plausible. Xander and Astrea's relationship was also very fast paced. The second time Astrea meets Xander, she asks him to stay and watch over her while she was sleeping. That is very unlikely to happen when you think about it. She barely knows him. You can have that scene taking place a few chapters later.

➼ There weren't many grammar mistakes that I noticed but there a few. However, they aren't huge mistakes. You can just go through the chapter and correct them. 

➼ Your writing style is nice. However, you could try adding more details. In the first chapter, the details were very vivid but the descriptions started becoming smaller and smaller as the story continued. You could add more descriptions. That will enhance your story.

➼ The general theme of the book was original but many scenes were very predictable. You could try adding more unique scenes to keep the readers more interested. It isn't a major issue but if you can, do change it.

*★*――――*★*★*――――*★*

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