unconditional

10| care

MADDIE

I LIKE TO think I'm a patient person, I'm usually pretty good at waiting, but I practically jump out of my skin every time either of our phones make any sort of sound.

Three days after the clinic and not a word from them. 

It's nerve racking, I feel like I can't function properly with my mind racing all the time.

"So, I'll be back in a little bit, call me if you need anything. Your water bottle and meds are beside your bed for when you nap, which should be around two. There's lunch in the fridge, please make sure you eat it all." Sam rambles, going between tucking his shirt into his cargo pants and pouring his coffee into a travel mug.

I just nod, sitting on the counter and admiring him in his uniform.

Looking hot as hell in his black on black outfit, I can't really help it. Black tee shirt, black cargo pants, heavy black boots, neatly done curls, clean shaven face.

I may be biased but he's undoubtedly the most attractive man I've ever met.

"Bennet heard about the situation and he's okay with me having my phone on me, but not replying unless it's really important, so don't be shocked if you're left on read a lot today. I love you but I'll get my ass whooped." He wipes up a spill on the counter, his eyes darting every which way, so it doesn't take a genius to pick up on the fact he's nervous.

He hasn't had another panic attack, thankfully, but he's on edge almost constantly.

"Come here." I motion for him to walk over and he gives me an anxious look, nodding. He walks over, his hands on either side of me, pinning me to the counter.

"What's the matter?" I cup his jaw in my hands and he shrugs, before shaking his head.

"Nothing, I'm fine,"

"If you're not going to be honest, I will." I sigh, moving so my hands on either side of his neck, my thumb brushing over his skin.

"I don't want you to worry today, because I know you will, even though I'm really okay. I'm nervous you're going to be distracted and Bennet's gonna kick your ass for it. I'm sad I won't have anyone to make me dinner tonight." I tease him at the end, which makes him crack a small smile, biting his bottom lip.

"I'm scared of what the fertility clinic has to say. I feel like a shitty boyfriend for leaving you when all you need right now is to lie in bed while I hold you and kiss you and smother you in love." He sucks in a sharp breath, his forehead falling on my shoulder, "I'm fucking terrified that I'm gonna come home and find out you passed out or got another concussion, and I could've been here to prevent it but I wasn't."

Hugging his neck, I kiss his cheek, before nuzzling my nose into his skin. "Bubba, you can't do that to yourself."

He pulls me closer so my legs are around his waist, as close to him as possible, "I can't let anything else happen to you, I already fucked up enough the first time."

"Sam, nothing that happened was anybody's fault, you know that. It happened for the best, too." I try not to muss up his hair too much, but still run my fingers through it the way I know he loves.

"I know, it just doesn't feel like the best."

"Trust me, I know." I hum, dropping my head against his.

He shuts his eyes, breathing in slowly, before whispering, "If I'm late I'll be dead."

"I love you."

He smiles, a soft little thing, and grabs my hand. Kissing my knuckles, he replies, "I love you most."

I try to keep my nerves under control as I watch him pack up all his things and head to the door, for his sake and my own, but my heart aches as he blows me a little kiss before shutting the door behind him.