CHAPTER TWENTY

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Dahee and Mingxia were inseparable ever since kindergarten when the latter had approached her first and offered to play with her since the other kids didn't want to. That was the beginning of the friendship everyone adored and that some envied. Mingxia was the first friend Dahee ever had and no one was able to replace the special place she had in her life since. No one ever can.

The duo did anything and everything together as if their lives were interwoven. With their houses just right across from each other, Mingxia was always over first thing in the morning to wake Dahee up and drag her along in her shenanigans. They got in trouble most of the time, but it was fun.

It wasn't always perfect though. Quarrels were a normal occurrence, of course, they argued and disagreed over something trivial like kids do, but they always resolved it on the same day. They couldn't stay mad at each other for long and the fights only made the friendship even more stronger than it already was. It seemed that nothing could ever tear them apart, but some things just never last.

Friends drift apart, even the closest ones, and that is exactly what happened between the two of them. No one knows what tore them apart, not even Dahee. She doesn't have an inkling of a clue as to why Mingxia suddenly just ignored her like she doesn't exist at all. Dahee's attempts to figure out what went wrong and ask her why have all not been successful so far, but she wants to try one last time.

"I'm not in the mood to fight with you right now " Dahee says and lets out a tired sigh. She lifts her head up to look into her former best friend's eyes that seem to have softened, not hostile for once. She finally asks, "Why did─why do you hate me? I just don't understand what happened to us. It was all so perfect one moment, then the next... it wasn't."

"Life isn't perfect, Dahee." Mingxia retorts and her confident facade has now come off. Her lips are pursed as she looks away for a second before meeting Dahee's eyes again. She seems hesitant and conflicted. "Why do you think I hated you?"

"Probably because I did something?" Dahee tries to recall anything she might have done in the past, but she just can't remember if she did something wrong. "I really don't know what I did, please, just tell me."

"Even after all these years, I'm still a coward to say it." Mingxia scoffs out a laugh that turns into a shaky sigh, still seemingly hesitant to tell her the reason.

"Is it that bad?" Dahee asks.

"Depends," she shrugs. "Is catching feelings for your best friend bad?"

Although she doesn't want to make any assumptions, her heart still sink with dread as the memory of Donghyuck's confession is still fresh, and she kind of knew where Mingxia is heading towards. Now, she is scared to find out the answer to the question that has been lingering in her mind for years.

"I hated you because I loved you," Mingxia finally utters. "There, I said it after all those years I couldn't. To be more precise, I loved you, and it wasn't in the friendly type of way you loved me. It was more than that. It was... it was a romantic type of love."

She continues to tell Dahee how she found herself growing romantic feelings for her. She knew she had to get rid of them. Loving someone isn't wrong, but the concept of love was foreign to the then young and naive Mingxia. She didn't want to lose Dahee, but Mingxia says that making Dahee believe she hated her was better than her knowing she loved her in the way she shouldn't at the time. Either way, she still lost Dahee.

"I'm so sorry." She says, the weight in her chest feeling very heavy.

"You didn't know, and I probably never would've told you," Mingxia says with a shrug and notices the guilt in Dahee's eyes. "Two consecutive confessions must be overwhelming, huh? It's your fault for being so easy to fall for." She apologizes again, not hearing the joking lilt in Mingxia's voice. "I was just kidding, y'know, to lift up the mood. You look like you're about to cry."

"You'd also want to cry if your best friend and your former one confessed to you one after the other." She says, her laugh sounding forced. Although it wasn't the answer she was expecting, she is still glad to finally get closure (the relief is just covered up by the shock and guilt from knowing). "But is there... is there a chance we can be friends again?"

"I don't know," Mingxia smiles at her genuinely for the first time in years. "Maybe one day."

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