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Chapter Four

Being called worthless and being shown that you're truly worthless are two different things that evokes different kinds of pain and the latter outweighs the former in greater amount. Zulai never let go of an opportunity to show me that I'm a nobody and I only have them to lean on. I didn't even have clothes nor shoes apart from my school uniform and the wrapper and blouse she was kind enough to give me the first day I arrived into the house.

I work hard like never before, I perform chores I never dreamed of doing even though we are poor but it's not an 11 year olds job to do. To her, I can never do anything right. She's as dirty as a pig but always claim to be a neat freak. I make sure to get out of trouble most times but it wasn't enough for her, she has to find a reason to insult me, my dead parents and show me how worthless I am.

My skin lost it's glow, I lost weight and life became so hard and unbearable I pray for death most nights after I bawled my eyes out. There's a huge mansion a few blocks away from my uncle's house and our neighbor suggested that Zulai should send me there as a maid because the woman is looking for one and am perfect to do the job to bring more income instead of being useless and finishing their food. Zulai welcomed the idea with enthusiasm but my uncle said no after she informed him of her impromptu decision.

"I am planning on sending her to school " he simply stated, taking his attention back to the radio he is listening to.

" We can't afford to send her to school, besides what's the point of doing that when we will soon marry her off?" She asked with arms on her waist, ready to pounce on her poor husband who seems to be meek and submissive around her whenever she start to rant or shout his ears off.

"Zulai I beg you in the name of Allah to drop this issue, Binta is our ward and it's our responsibility to give her at least an education. I am not sending her to a private school but a public one like the one she was attending before she came here" he pleaded, sounding like he's tired of discussing the issue. I heard them from the verendah where I laid my mat because it is too hot to stay in the room coupled with mosquitoes that bite all night long. I chose to sleep outside at least there will be fresh air.

Zulai and my uncle kept arguing back and forth till I slept off not knowing my fate even though I'd rather not go to school and become a maid than stay in that miserable house all day.

Two weeks passed by and no one mentioned anything about school or house and I was at ease. I had finally accepted my fate and was working deligently in the house leaving no room for complaint. I'd do the chores before being asked, help out with her akara and even wash her clothes.

"Assalamualaikum" uncle made his presence known with a Salam holding a large polythene bag. We answered him and I collected the bag keeping it in front of the forbidden room which am still not allowed to step foot in.

"It's yours Binta, I've bought everything you need to start school. In shaa Allah I will take you there tomorrow" he said with a smile on his face. I shouted and jumped with glee feeling happy for the first time after my parent's demise.

"Thank you so much Uncle, jazakallah khairan. In shaa Allah I will make you proud, I will study hard and become a doctor" he smiled and passed me by and that was when I saw the murderous look on Zulai's face. She looked so angry I thought she's going to beat me.

"No one! I repeat no one wins against me Binta. You're too small to make my husband go against my words. Just wait and see how miserable am going to make your life from now on" she venemously stated. I was scared but too happy to care.

I tried on my uniform and sandals then arranged my note books in the small tote bag uncle bought for me. I neatly arranged everything then hid them inside an old box in the room knowing that Zulai might do something bad to the uniform or shoes. I woke up earlier than usual the next day, took a bath, swept the compound and washed the beans before they woke up. I was ready before seven waiting for uncle to take me to school. Zulai didn't even answer my greetings neither give me breakfast but I didn't care. All I wanted was to see myself in school and that's more than enough.

We walked to the school because it isn't far from home and the principal instructed the messenger to escort me to my class where I was asked to introduce myself and find a seat. I sat beside a girl that was smiling at me the moment my eyes start roving around the class looking for a friendly face.

"Nice to meet you Fatima, my name is Rukayyah but you can call me Ruky" she introduced with a smile and I nodded with a smile of my own. The day was eventful and I paid attention realising just how much I've missed school and the happiness I feel whenever I learn something new.

I went back home after school with Ruky who happened to be living a few blocks after uncle's house and she promised to be coming everyday so that we will go to school together. Being the happy go lucky person that I am, I welcomed the idea after thanking her for her kindness in school.

Zulai welcomed me with a murderous look which I ignored. She followed me to my room and rained insults on me saying that I will never make it in life, I will live a long miserable life and die alone with no one to call my own. Her words hurt but I didn't say anything back knowing that I have no one and nowhere to go to. I'd rather stay and be miserable than roam around the streets with no destination in mind. She didn't give me lunch and dinner. Hunger gnawed my insides but I kept drinking water to tamp down the raging hunger which only led to a serious stomach ache that made me vomit my insides out.

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I can only apologize for my silence and short updates. It will get better in shaa Allah. I promise.

Thank you 🥰

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