shattered|| taekook

8

Dear Diary,

You had a basketball match today, and Yoongi hyung was in your team too. I packed my bag with 2 extra towels and a bottle cause I knew you'd sweat a lot. But then Yoongi hyung chuckled saying he wouldn't need 2 towels and I realized what I was doing.

You're still in my head, Jungkook. Am I there in yours?

We headed to the building and when I saw you smiling at Jimin while he kissed you luck, I felt a pang in my chest. I wondered if I was not a good boyfriend. I watched as you pulled away too quick. I tried to look away but I wasn't able to.

But Yoongi hyung helped me when he kissed my cheekㅡ yes, I am still shocked.

My eyes snapped to him, wide as that basketball you had dropped. He chuckled pinching my burning cheek before leaving. When I turned around, you both had a glares in your eyes, Jimin was looking straight at me as if he would burn me any moment, and you...you had a clenched jaw and even in this sunny weather, I felt shivers down my spine.

During the match me, Jin hyung, and Jimin were cheering for your team. It was the last quarter when Yoongi hyung looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back instinctively.

You both had bruises and cuts from the way you both ran into each other, no like, literally. You both reminded me of bulls.

I rushed to the medical room and Yoongi hyung had the audacity to smile sheepishly. I was so worried for him, he was one of the best players in the group.

I now realize how obnoxiously I was yelling at him, lecturing him on how reckless and stupid he seemed. He has two bandages and some cuts that didn't suit him. His pale skin was cracked and slightly bleeding, I didn't like that.

"I am your hyung, brat. Show some respect." He grumbled.

I was more pissed. How was he so calm with all that pain, I could see how concerned he was about his game. I just pinched his shoulder really hard while he cried in pain. That felt good to be honest.

I felt a burning sensation from the side of my cheek and there you were, staring at me. I didn't realize you were there too. I looked around but Jimin was nowhere, "Jeon, are you ok?" I couldn't help but ask.

I still love you, Jungkook. And I don't think I can stop anytime soon.

You looked away, nodding with a look. And I did the same.

When I looked at Yoongi hyung who already had a smile on his face I asked, "What?" And he shaked his head holding my hand and patting, "You care even about...your exes. I like that about you." It was a little awkward but....

It felt good.

-------

Our school lost this time, and everyone were super tensed. But you looked happy for some reason.

You had a smile painted on your face. That same bunny smile. And Jimin was tensed, he didn't talk much. I don't know why, his eyes were just trained on Yoongi hyung, and your on me. You were smiling at me.

After the results I decided to treat hyung for his hardwork and make him forget his pain for a while. So we decided to visit McDonald's, he asked me to pay ....something he never does. I was bewildered but still obeyed.

When I returned it was not him sitting on the bench, it was you. And you had that same smile, but oddly this time it didn't make me smile.

I tried to ignore you and called Yoongi hyung, but he wasn't answering. I got frustrated, so I decided to leave. I don't know what made me angry-- the fact that you had that smile after hurting me or the fact that Yoongi hyung abandoned me.

I was angry.

And I did the thing I never intended to do. I lashed out, I wasn't going to. But when you said you wanted to talk to me and you asked hyung for help.

I felt betrayed.

Why does everyone take your side? Why do they still support you? After all these months of suffering this is what they do? Didn't hyung see my tears? Why would he do such thing?

I shoved you, "Stay. Away. From. Me." I warned harshly but you didn't let me go. You kept your same grip on my arm and that same smile on your face.

It irked me. A lot.

You looked hurt after I confessed how a small thing like looking at you, hurts. You even started to tear up. And the next thing I knew I was in your arms with your face buried in my neck, your breath caressing my cheek. I felt shivers. You started to apologize. The chains of sysiphian 'sorry' s from your mouth.

I hated being this soft, I hated being like this. I hated that I loved you so much.

-- 2:02 a.m.

_____*****_____

change if environment does help, but sometimes you have anxiety :)

anygays, don't forget to vote and leave your comments cause i love to reply to them.

bora hae💜💜

-aura