Live to fight and fight to live

28 // you'll be okay

That whole week I stayed in my bedroom trying to avoid everyone I could, the only times I actually left my room was to go to work, everyone tried to help me as much as they could, everyone tried to get me out of these four walls and everyone tried to get me to eat but I just couldn't, I couldn't face the world just yet, I did feel bad for Ryder though since his nightmares got much more worse but he had sasha and Mitchell, I wasn't in the place to be able to help him and yes I did feel bad for that, the only time anyone would see me was when I left for work and I even had to force myself to go to work, everyone at work also knew I wasn't okay they asked me questions that I just ignored, they were worried about me but I just couldn't talk about what was really wrong, Casey came over everyday and he was actually the only person besides co workers that I'd see , even if I didn't talk to him he would jusg lay down with me and made sure I knew he was there for me.

I wanted to get back to my normal life I wanted to be happy again and have the energy to muck around with my family and friends but I just couldn't find the strength to do anything I used to anymore, as much as I tried I just wanted my bed.

I had Charlotte, addie and Kyle messaging new every single day asking why I don't come out anymore and if I'm okay, I just learned to ignore them as bad as I felt for it I jusg couldn't explain why I was the way I am., even thought Charlotte would somewhat understand because of her family situation I just couldn't find it in myself to tell her what happened, I just simply wasn't ready to talk about it.

I knew it was time to try to get back to my old life before everything happened as hard as it sounded I needed to try so with that thought I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed and made my way downstairs, my family had grown closer after Ryder was taken away and Alex even gained his trust from us because of what we did to help Ryder, they all nearly snapped there neck to look at me I knew they were all surprised thag I even got out of bed
"Yeah yeah the walking dead is out of her room" I said rolling my eyes but they all thought it was funny
"About time" Ryder screamed as he ran up to me to give me a big hug, god I loved this little boy he could cheer me up in a second and I was so glad I didn't lose him to a monster, before I knew it I was getting tackled down on the floor by all of my siblings hugging me and jumping on me, far out I did miss this, now I felt ready to face the world again and I knew with my family by my side I could.

Do you want to do anything today sis?" Mitchell asked
"I'd rather stay in and watch movies with you all"
"Yes" all the kids screamed making us laugh, yeah I might be ready to face the world again but one step at a time and I didn't quite want to go out just yet, I wanted to enjoy the time I had with my family since I haven't really been there for them this pass week when they needed me
Sasha pulled me to the side and said "hey you know it's okay needing a break"
"I know I jusg feel bad I wasn't there for you all" I replied
"We know but you needed rest and the kids had mitch and I"
"I know thankyou" I replied as we made our way to the lounge to have a movie day.

Today was the only day casey hasn't been here for a week, he had to help his little sister with something and told me he would be back as soon as he could, god I was so lucky to have him, he's done so much for my family and I this pass week and I love him even more for it.

It was actually nice to be with my family again it was nice just having a movie kind of day, Ryder didn't leave my side during the movies, at first he had to fight to sit next to me with Alex, we were all cuddled up on the lounge and I was so damn thankful that none of them got hurt and they were all okay, I was so damn glad they were all here with me today and if it wasn't for what I did we could of been at the hospital by now and it could of turned out much worse, as much as I was shocked and shaky by my actions I knew I did the right thing because if I didn't do that like I said it would of been much worse and my family would of been tore apart again.

After what happened I knew I was even more thankful for what I had and for the people in my life.

After another hour of watching random movies, Casey rocked up at our front door with a little Kimberly by his side, apparently Kim wanted to see us and join in on our movie day but I was sure it was casey just wanting to spend more time with me and to make sure I was okay, he done anything he could to see me and to be close with me but I didn't mind at all, I loved it when he was near by and the fact he didn't care what we were doing at all as long as I was there with him that's all that's mattered for the both of us
"So tell me casey how did you change from your player ways?" Mitchell asked taking us both by shock
"Well that's what happens when your fall inlove and Taylor changed me for the better" he replied wait he loved me? I couldn't help but blush and I'm pretty sure everyone saw it too
"Thankyou casey" sasha said out of no where
"Uh for what?" Casey replied
"For being there for us that night and for being there for Taylor she really needed that even if she won't admit it" sasha said
"Anytime" casey said while smiling at sasha and turning to me and kissing me on the forehead
I was really lucky to have all these people in my life we always wanted the best for each other we always looked out for each other I know that's what family is suppose to do but it meant a lot to me that I still had family left even if we had no parents, and not did I only have family I had my friends and my boyfriend to keep me sane in this crazy world.

I'll be okay and I'll stay strong, I can fight any battle and any challenge thag comes my way especially with these people by my side, with them I'll be able to do anything.