play life [harry styles] book 3

8

TW: Mention of suicide

Amanda

I watched as Harry and James engaged in what looked like a heated conversation outside, and I didn't know what to think.

Just a few minutes before Harry came home from work, James showed up asking for him and explained that he was an old colleague of Harry's. I wasn't fond of letting strangers into the house, so I told him he could wait outside.

Before I knew it, Harry stormed back into the house, eyes dark, and his face twisted with rage.

"Harry, what happened?" I asked him, as he shut the door behind him and took a seat on the couch. The expression on his face worried me because I could tell he was really angry, and I hadn't seen him this upset in a long time.

"James is Jordan's father." He admitted suddenly and it felt like everything stopped.

"What?"

My head started to spin just at the sound of her name; something I always tried to avoid.

"Listen," Harry sighed, as I sat down beside him. "There's a lot about Jordan that you should know."

"When she and I first got married, not long after she told me she was pregnant. And we were so excited," He explained. "Then a couple months later, she uh told me that she was never actually pregnant and that she was infertile."

"After she told me, I went out to clear my head and I... I guess she took that as a sign that I was going to leave her, but I was honestly just upset about the fact that she lied to me."

"Um, when I came back she had taken a whole bunch of pills and she was unconscious-" He trailed off and let out a heavy sigh. "I got her to the hospital in time of course but, I blamed myself for that."

"I was never going to leave her because she couldn't get pregnant but it was the fact that she lied ... and she threw it in my face every chance she got. That she tried to kill herself because of me, so how could I leave after that?" He expressed and I was shocked.

"I-is that why she went to Bellevue?" I asked him and he nodded.

"The first time she went to there, we had only been married two years. I was willing to give it another chance after the whole pregnancy thing, I thought we'd be able to make it work," He told me.

"At first, we did. When she came back, she seemed like she had changed and we were happy for a little while. And then this woman, Ruth, moved in next door to us." He muttered and looked away. "After a while she got in her head that the two of us were having an affair, which wasn't true. I'd only had the typical neighborly conversations with her, but she thought it was more than that."

"She would bring it up to me everyday, and we would just fight about it. Then after a few weeks, she stopped asking. We went on like nothing happened." He continued on and let out another sigh. "A few days later I saw Ruth at the grocery store and she was afraid to talk to me. It was like she was scared to even be seen with me.

"She finally told me that Jordan had been threatening her. She hadn't done anything about it because she was terrified of her."

"When I confronted Jordan, she got violent. She tried to hurt Ruth, but luckily I was there to stop her. Ruth moved away and Jordan went to Bellevue again for almost a year and then she came back. But I was different. I resented her and nothing was the same after that."

"I became an asshole to her because I felt trapped a-and it was my own fault." Harry exasperated. "I didn't leave because I was young and stupid. And maybe even a little scared. If I made the wrong move her father would've been able to end my career in an instant. But I was more afraid of what she would do. To herself, to me, to anyone around us."

"And then you came along, and I was horrible to you and reckless," he sighed, looking in my eyes. "I never thought Jordan would go as far as she did, but I still knew what she was capable of, and I dragged you into it. I'll always be sorry for that."

"Harry," I breathed, pulling him to me. "You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault."

"But now James is here. He's always been fixated on this idea of a 'perfect family' because his was the complete opposite. So that's what he wants for Jordan." Harry explained, turning to look at me. "That's why she had this weird obsession with having a baby biologically. She was never interested in adopting or anything else because that wouldn't fit into their idea of a traditional perfect family."

My heart was starting to beat fast and I could already feel my head start to spin from all of the information I had just learned and the fact that that man was here.

The man that wanted to help Jordan take Josie away from me was just a few feet away from our kids...

After hearing all of this, I realized there was so much that I didn't know about Jordan and Harry's relationship, and now I understood a little more.

"So... why was he here? What did he want?" I asked and he shrugged.

"To scare us. To scare me. It used to work years ago, but not anymore." He asserted, and held my hand in his. "Hey," Harry whispered, pulling me to him probably sensing my anxiety starting to set in. "Everything will be okay."

I really hoped that was true.

-

The next day it was time to say goodbye to the house and move into our new one.  

It was easier than I expected. I thought the fact that there were so many happy memories with the kids and Harry here that it would be harder to leave.

But it wasn't.

Jordan's presence still loomed over the house like a dark cloud.

At the end of the day it was still her house, and it always would be.

So as we drove away and the house faded into the background, I let out a sigh of relief.

It felt like a fresh start.