maybe, someday.

seven - he knows.

//an; (mentions of panic attack and anxiety.) also, cliché and kinda long chapter//

-

mina stares down at her blank phone, completely hopeless. it's weekend, already. yet, the moment where she shot her eyes open only being welcomed by a very bright light still haunting.

"myoui mina, please calm down. you're safe." said the nurse. at some thought, she thinks she was being hospitalized but, she's still at school that time.

she closes her eyes at the thoughts of how students would stop walking just to sees her laying down on the floor that time. she never wanted to go to school ever again after that. she had to lied to her mother how she's feeling unwell for two days until the weekend.

and just now, jimin texted her he's coming over since her two days absent. she never wanted to see anyone else, ever again but jimin seems like.. genuinely care for her little coward, selfish and helpless little self.

the door ringed twice, making her calm heartbeat were beating faster than ever. not to make him wait, she walks downstairs by her in oversized black hoodie and soft sweatpants. when she reached the door open, she's welcomed by a hug.

"oh my god, you stupid. are you okay? have you eaten something? you made me worried sick!" jimin argues, flooding her with questions. she was startled by the random hug.

the only last time she hugged someone was when she had to leave her father. jimin noticed her awkward posture, "i'm sorry if that hug makes you uncomfortable. i, was just too worried."

jimin awkwardly laugh, letting her go as he closes the door behind them for her. since mina's mother aren't home, they're bit free unlike before. "n-no! it's okay.. i was just, shocked. i didn't expect you to come for real." she replies.

"here, have a seat." mina points at her couch, and sat down in a very awkward silence. mina is scared to expect what will jimin say after all, he's her only friend.

she met his serious stare as she anxiously look away, "do you need a drink? i can go mak-"

"no, i did not come here for a drink, mina. just breath," jimin points out. his tone, is different. mina blinks. "how are you doing?" he ask, once again mina's posture has relaxed.

she starts to tense up again. 

lie. don't let him know. no one cares about you, lie about it like you always do. mina's thoughts attacks, trying to possesses her confused-self.

but, i don't feel like lying to him. her heart answer. then you want him to worry about you over and over again like someone who's hungry for an attentions? her thoughts snaps.

jimin patiently waits, knowing this is how she really is when she's trying answer something. his eyes stuck on hers while she's having a mental battle with herself.

she connect the eye contact, "i'm.. doing fine." she lied, with a small smile. the two stare at each other, no words. say something, mina starts to feel anxious.

jimin lets out an smile; more like a sad one. "do i look easy to fool, mina?"

"..what?" mina nervously ask, confused. there's no way, right? she slowly starts to shake her legs, feeling anxious again. she doesn't want him to find out. she doesn't want him starting to put lot of care on her like she's a newborn.

no.

jimin took a deep breath, "can i hold your hand?" 

froze. she felt like the time has stop when they keep the contact going. felt like it's only the two of them are breathing through the loud silence on the outside. slowly, she reach out her hand as a sign of yes.

when their hands touches each other, warm breeze and calm feelings running through mina spines. suddenly, she doesn't feel like shaking anymore. her breathing suddenly becomes much more clear than before.

"i know you're mentally not okay," jimin say, noticing how her warm hands and slowly going cold out nowhere. gently, he caresses her soft knuckles to calm her down.

she hated how it's working.

"and it's okay." jimin softly say, she barely could catch it if she didn't pay full attention to him. "it's not." she suddenly attack, leaving herself shocked.

but jimin seems unbothered instead, he smiles. "i think it's okay that everyone had an imperfections," he says looking down at their hands that are like a match for each other.

"i mean, just look at you." he continues, looking up at mina who's already staring. mina's eyes stuck on his'. his eyes, if like a mirror. she could see herself but, happier.

she doesn't even notices how he would caresses her hand whenever she starts to shake or getting a hard time breathing. her eyes are just locked on his. only him.

he smiles, "you don't have to push yourself to be the best instead, be who you are now." he gently adds, as mina blinks.

the reality started to hit her. "how.. how do you know tha-"

"that you have panic attack and anxiety?" jimin completes her, not trying to make it harder for her. she didn't say anything. he knows. he fucking knows. "how could i not know ever since we hung out past week?"

past week?

mina looks away, trying to recalling back her missing memories. "you were basically having hard time breathing when i'm buying us some foods. you refused to eat and forces yourself to and i had to hold you all the way to your home, making sure you wouldn't faint on the road."

she closes her eyes, barely to do anything anymore. she does feel the comfort of jimin holding her hands but, she can't stop shaking now. she notices how jimin moves to a seat beside her and gently holds out both of her shoulder to look at his eyes.

"and i think you've done a very good job on holding yourself like that. it must've been very painful for you to go all of these alone, mina." he says, a small tone of him are stating the fact that he's pity of her and she hates that.

she shakes her head twice, "please.. please don't say that. you don't have to pity for me, jimin. i- i'm fine handling myself alone."

"i'm proud of you."

her eyes that has been tearing up, locked with his bright ones. the emotions he's expressing through his eyes is, so much. he said those with sincere, like he knows she wanted to hear those in such a long time.

"and i don't care if you're going to push me or what, i'm still gonna be here." he continues. pushing away strands of her hair that are covering her little cheeks.

"supporting you, being by your side until you see yourself the way you should."

//an; for those who's ever struggling, just know that you're never alone. i'm proud at no matter how you are now, you're doing so great and i'm proud of that. don't ever skip your meals and drink some water<3//