Vanilla Dusk ✓

Loop Part 8

Shayne began to learn the pattern after the third time.

This time, their peace lasted shorter than a month. They were taking the Underground to Kew Gardens and the platform was abnormally crowded that day. Erik's shoelaces came loose and he bent down to tie them while Shayne was checking the map on his mobile, oblivious to the presence of a few mischievous kids cavorting and running around. One of them must have got shoved down the platform by accident and Erik reached out to grab the child's hand, missing it by an inch. A train was approaching. He leapt down from the platform without thinking and scooped up the wailing child. The child's family and Shayne immediately rushed towards the edge. Erik hoisted the child up and handed him back to his parents. He thought he could easily climb back up but he was wrong. The platform was taller than he expected.

'Erik, quick!'

Shayne caught Erik's hand and attempted to pull him up but the train was faster. Somebody had tried to press the emergency button and terminate the movement, but –

'Erik!'

Erik let go of Shayne's hand and looked at his boyfriend one last time with a calm smile, as if assuring Shayne that it would be fine. Everything would be okay.

The train struck him, dragged him into the rails and soon his entire body vanished from sight, leaving splashes of crushed bones and blood behind.

Shayne remembered shrieking at the top of his lungs together with the other passengers on the platform. When the train eventually stopped, Erik's body was no more than a grotesque puddle of mashed flesh. He didn't know what he was thinking, just like the day he took Erik's hand on the rooftop. Nothing was fathomable. Nothing made sense anymore. Instead of waiting for them to retrieve Erik's remains form beneath the train, Shayne struggled out of the crowd. It was drizzling outside as he left the station. He stood in the rain for a long time and teetered on the street, unable to wipe Erik's cadaverous face off his conflicted mind. He didn't follow his dead body to the hospital this time. Once he was home, he scuttled upstairs and crashed into his room. He took the watch out of the drawer and pressed the crown almost out of instinct, as if it was the right and sole thing he could do. The hand started ticking, moving towards the third interval.

It doesn't hurt to try.

And if it didn't work, he would join him this time for real.

His vision was soon subsumed by darkness. He fell weakly on the ground and passed out. In his dream, they were back on the rooftop. Erik was smiling at him. He held out his hand and Shayne took it. Erik pulled him back from the abyss but he himself dissipated into a billow of smoke. Shayne clutched the smoke but it escaped through the gaps of his fingers. He was then engulfed by a mass of black feathers.

'Erik!'

He woke up screaming, back on his bed. This time, Erik was lying right beside him.

'Shayne? Are you alright?' Erik opened his eyes and gazed at Shayne, who was sitting up and sweating. Soon, his face was twisted in pain. He didn't dare look inside his shirt because he was sure a few more patches had surfaced and his previous blotches had darkened.

'Shayne?' Now Erik was sitting up as well. He wiped the sweat off Shayne's forehead and examined his perturbed face. 'Nightmare?'

The hand in the pocket watch had stopped ticking. Shayne checked the time in his phone. It was four in the morning and Erik was still next to him. They had planned to take a day trip to Kew Gardens that day. Shayne shook off the image of Erik's flattened body under the train. It hadn't happened yet. They still had time to fix things.

'I'm fine,' muttered Shayne. He shut his eyes and clenched his teeth, hoping that the pain would subside soon but it never did. The sensation of being pulped and ripped apart only got aggravated as he slipped out of bed. He wobbled to the bathroom and rinsed his face with tap water, trying to drown out the pain with the coldness. He rolled up his shirt and examined the increased number of bruises scattered over his body. He gulped and decided to ignore them, rushing back to the bedroom to find Erik waiting apprehensively in their bed. He smiled.