Half Part 2

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Emir grabbed his phone from the coffee table and punched the first number that came into his mind. Shane 2.0 brushed the glass shards onto a dustpan and swept the floor with a broom. Emir sat up on the sofa and bawled into the phone.

'Don't "hi" me, Joann! I know what you've done. Stop messing around. Do you seriously think that this is funny? Sending me a stupid robot that looks like Shane? What? Stop playing dumb! I'm referring to the parcel! Got it this morning on my porch and this weirdo jumped out! And he's threatened to burn down my house. What? What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? Huh? You didn't send it? Then who on earth sent me this stupid thing?'

Emir hung up and dialled another number almost immediately. His brother's best friend this time.

'You there, Mattie? Now answer me honestly, did you send me a parcel containing an android? Hello? Are you out drinking again with Gil and Tony again? Geez, answer me! Did you send it? Hey? You there? Wait –'

The line went dead. Emir growled and dialled another series of numbers, calling his cousin, two of his closer friends from college and any acquaintances that knew who Shane was and would possibly send out a poor imitation of him.

Nobody admitted having sent the parcel. In the end, Emir dug out the torn parcel box from the bin. Shane 2.0 had finished cleaning the room by then and was standing in one corner, observing his master's every act. Emir turned the box upside down and managed to find a telephone number directing him to a branch of Hirano Technology Ltd.

'Hello, is this Hirano Technology Ltd.?' Emir started speaking on his phone again. 'Yes, may I please speak to the manager? Hi, this is Emir Esmark. I received a parcel this morning and it has got one of your products. Right, I'll be glad to provide you with the details.'

Emir dashed to the android and scanned him from head to toe. When he couldn't find the model number as instructed by the manager, he began to scrutinise the android, checking every inch of his skin. He went through his neck, his shoulders, his limbs and even peeked inside his shirt only to find that even Shane's abs had been cloned. He paced around Shane 2.0 and no matter from which angle he looked, the android was a masterpiece.

'Oh hi, yes, I'm still here, but no, I can't find any barcodes,' said Emir as he rolled up the android's skirt and blushed at the sight of his crotch. 'Damn, your product looks so real. No, I can't find a barcode on him, Sir. I can't even find the switch! Like I said, he appeared out of nowhere and jumped out of the box himself. What do you mean he's not manufactured by your company? I'm sure he mentioned your company. Hey, let me speak to someone else from your corp. Excuse me, why would I be telling a lie? This thing threatened to burn down my house! Hello? Hello?'

Emir hurled the phone at the wall. It fell to the floor with a shattered screen.

'Looks like you can't get rid of me for the time being,' said the android with a sneer, which only got on Emir's nerves even more.

'Shut up,' shouted Emir, glaring at the android. 'Why're you wearing a dress anyway?'

The android didn't answer him.

'Hey, I'm asking you a question.'

'You just asked me to shut up.'

Emir grunted and pointed at the android's dress. 'What's up with that ridiculous maid outfit?'

Shane 2.0 looked down at his dress and shrugged. 'My previous owner asked me to dress this way. He said you would find it enticing.'

Emir wanted to scream or punch something in the face.

'Who's your previous owner? Did he send you to me?'

'His identity is to remain anonymous for now,' said Shane 2.0. 'As for your second question, yes.'

'Why?' asked Emir, beginning to gain control of the situation.

'You'll find out very soon.'

'Damn robot.'

Joann and Mattie dropped by that evening. Both of them had no clue why and how Shane 2.0 appeared at Emir's doorway. They spent a long time examining the android, going as far as to undress him to look for a switch or a model number of some kind but to no avail. There was not a single flaw in his skin and if he hadn't introduced himself as an android, they would have thought that he was a living person. He spoke with intonations and was capable of displaying facial expressions. He even smiled condescendingly when the boys failed to dig out more information about him.

Emir invited Joann and Mattie to stay for dinner. Although the mysterious intrusion of the android seemed to disturb Emir, Joann and Mattie were glad to see him. They hadn't been in touch for so long they were starting to fear Emir would rot to death inside his own house. They tried to test Shane 2.0 by asking him to cook and much to their amazement, the android performed the task without much ado and served them a table full of scrumptious meals within minutes.

'So, you can't track down who sent you this?' asked Mattie as he took a large bite of the meat ball on his plate.

Emir shook his head and couldn't stop staring at Shane 2.0, who was standing at the kitchen sink cleaning the stove.

'I didn't know you have a maid fetish,' said Joann with a smirk.

'What? No!' defended Emir. 'He came here in this dress. That's his default outfit!'

Joann and Mattie laughed, remembering the time when Shane used to surprise Emir with his crossdressing habits. He loved to read manga and cosplay occasionally. He could dress more beautifully than any girls outside and there was not a time he didn't get hit on by strangers when he was at a bar.

Joann and Mattie knew better to shut up than mention Shane in front of Emir though, so they kept quiet about the extraordinary similarity the android shared with that suave boy.

'You wouldn't have called me if he hadn't appeared this morning,' said Joann suddenly. 'Do you know it's been a year since you last let us into your house?'

Emir turned away and glanced out of the window. Shane 2.0 had finished cleaning the stove and was tidying up the cabinets now.

'I don't think this is an accident,' said Mattie eventually. 'Someone has planned this.'

'Whatever,' muttered Emir, propping his chin in the palm. Joann took out an envelope and slid it towards Emir.

'You never accept my transfer.'

Emir pushed the envelope back to Joann, declining the stack of cash he had offered him.

'I don't need any help,' insisted Emir.

'You haven't been working for a long time,' Joann pointed out. He didn't intend to crush Emir's pride with that utterance but his little brother's obstinacy was something else. He knew that even if Emir became penniless, he would rather stray on the street and sleep in the alleyway than give his family a call. He and Mattie had referred jobs to Emir but none of them piqued his interest as much as painting. When he eventually got down to painting again, it always ended with a ruptured canvas, ripped brushes and some smashed paints.

'I've got my savings.' Emir stood up and jammed his hands into his pockets, directing his void gaze towards the door. 'It's getting late. You two ought to be going.'

Joann didn't persist. The two guests stood up and took one last glance at the android, who was preparing apple crumble.

'We'll see you later?' asked Joann as Emir walked him to the door.

'Maybe.'

'Don't ignore my messages, okay?' Joann and Mattie walked out onto the porch.

'Will try.'

Emir slammed the door on them. When he returned to the kitchen, Shane 2.0 was baking the dessert. He looked up at Emir and smiled. 'Would you like some apple crumble?'

Emir kept quiet.

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