Killing me Softly | Yeonbin

five

Soobin's Point of View

The whole group thing and my stupid decision.

Now I am here in the student council room, reflecting in my own freaking stupid decision on why in the hell did I let Yeonjun do be with my group getting swayed by my feelings.

This is no difference on mom.

I frowned, I am being like this again, being swayed by feelings, getting ahead of my brain, using my fragile heart to decide again. I am stupid again.

The last time I checked, my heart did something terrible to me. Letting Yeonjun in my life is a big mess and now I cannot get out of him. I look down in my own hands.

What am I really capable of? Being a weakshit hiding in someone's back and getting easy pretty life.

The door opens revealing Beomgyu and Taehyun, looking at me worriedly.

"You know hyung, you can always tell us the problem." Taehyun said as he sat on one of the chair here while Beomgyu locked the door and leaned on it.

"Don't tell me you're going to cry all over being a weak again?." Beomgyu asked me. I shaked my head as a respond.

"Are you worried because you did something wrong?." Taehyun guess and I nodded.

"You know hyung, I know I didn't told you about this but..." He giggled. "When I first saw Beomgyu in his miserable state, nearly killing Huening Kai, hands full of blood. I started to get worried about what I had said that day, saying that I will stay by his side. I was worried sick that I cried infront of my mom." Taehyun took a glance of Beomgyu who just listen and back to me.

"But I worried for nothing. I think first, being a goody buddy with a criminal, does that even good? It'll look like I am insane and I have serious mental problem but then, I became too judgemental to the situation, not thinking that Beomgyu is just a teenager who lost his parents and the world over him became cruel. I am worried of the result of what I had said to him, but it turns out the it has to be something. And really." He paused and smiled at Beomgyu.

"It's really beautiful."

I look down, I am envious. I am jealous. Why can't I do something for Yeonjun for once?

"You can just talk it out hyung. Talk to him, and all your worries will be gone." Taehyun advised.

"Is that even a good decision?." I muttered. "Not unless you try Soobin, you'll gain nothing if you're just sitting there." Beomgyu answered that I had to look at him.

"Why can't he just listen to me? Why can't he just talk to me?."

I mean, if that thing happened why can't he just contacted me?

"Because Yeonjun knows that when it comes to family, you can never defy them and Yeonjun already lost, from the very start." He finished me off.

"I will ask you this, can you defy your father? Can you fight for Yeonjun? You can't even fight for yourself. You're asking too much for Yeonjun Soobin." He continued.

"Hey, Gyu, isn't it too much?." Taehyun frown.

"It's not I was just stating the fact." I look down, what he said is true. Right now I am still unsure if I can, I am still chickening out.

"But you can just cheer him up!."

"Cheer him for what? In this world, sometimes you need to experience losing to become stronger." Beomgyu frown at Taehyun.

"Soobin hyung never experience that, you should take it slowly!." Taehyun fought back.

"So I am letting him experience now." Beomgyu finished him off and I look at Taehyun, puffed cheeks and about to burst.

"HA! HA! CHOI BEOMGYU YOU FREAKIN— censored. I HATE YOU!." Taehyun brushed him off and walked out. "Don't you ever contact me you stu censored Go with the hell of your pride!."

I blinked twice and then look at Beomgyu who looked nervous, this is my first time seeing him too nervous. "I mean, hello? This is my problem why did you guys fight?." I asked.

"Soobin what should I do?." He asked me.

"So we are in the same boat now?." I asked him back.

"Why do people needs to get angry over simple things— aish! I can't belive Taehyun can curse!." He sighed in disbelief. "I can't believe he even defend you from me!."

"Wow, so you're going to complain me being defended by your boyfriend and you're also here asking me for advice?."

"Wow, cousin. The last time I checked I also gave you some advise and motivation. Now where's the credit with that?."

I sighed and shaked my head.

Why do we have to be in the same boat?