All My Love Is Gone | JenLisa

15

"Hate to see you with someone new, I'll put a curse on her and you."

Jennie's POV

When Lisa proposed to Rosé, I felt a sudden pain in my heart as if someone stabbed it a million times.

When my eyes met with hers, I sadly smiled at her and didn't notice a tear running down on my cheeks. I mouthed her "congratulations".

I don't know what came to me that I suddenly ran out of the building, but all I know is that it hurts so much.

"F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!" I said, grabbing my hair out of frustration.

"Why am I feeling this way?"

"Why does it hurt so bad?"

"Do I still.... No..."

I don't know what to think, I kept on talking to myself while crying like a crazy person. I should head home.

As soon as I got in the car, someone knocked on my window.

"Jeez!" I said holding my chest.

I opened the window and looked at her. "What do you want, Unnie?" I asked.

She leaned down to look at me, smiling sadly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I plainly said.

She sighed. "Sorry for not telling you about Rosé and her, and sorry for not telling you about her being the CEO."

I shook my head. "It's okay, Unnie. It's all my fault, if only I didn't listen to our parents, that would have been us already..."

"Go home and get some rest, Jen. Everything will be okay soon, okay?"

I only nodded at her. She cupped my face and kissed my forehead.

"Drive safely, see you at home."

I gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Unnie." I said while slowly closing the car window before driving off.

As soon as I got home, I went straight to my room and lay in bed looking up to the ceiling, thinking about everything. I'm starting to regret everything, I couldn't blame my parents either. It was all my fault in the first place. If only I fought for Lisa before, for us....

I stood up and went to my closet to get a box. When I opened it, every happy and sad memories of us came back. I took out the picture of us and the ring that Jisoo gave to me before when Lisa left Korea.

"It could've been us..." I said, holding the ring while tears began to fall from my eyes.

"You're so f*cking stupid Jennie!" 

I'm now crying in the corner of my room, cursing at myself. 

"W-Why... Why am I feeling this way?"

I held the picture of me and Lisa, "Am I still... F*ck!" I shook my head aggressively . "I'm still inlove with Lisa..."

I began to panic. I don't know what to do anymore. F*ck! I love her!

"But I guess I'm too late now..."

***

I heard a knock coming from the door. "Jenjen? You awake?"

I groaned and sighed. "Come in!"

She went inside my room with a breakfast tray. "Here..." She said, handing me the tray. "I cooked that for you. You should at least eat..."

"Thank you for this..." 

She chuckled and pinched my cheeks, "Anything for my baby sister."

"Yah! I'm not a baby anymore!" I said, pouting.

"Nope, you're still my baby sister no matter what." Sticking her tongue out.

Sheesh... she's more like a baby than me.

I playfully rolled my eyes at her and hugged her. "I love you..." I didn't know that I was crying already. It just feels so good to know that someone is still there, willing to understand you even if you're at fault.

She hugged me back and slowly caressing my hair. "Don't cry, Jen... I love you too and I will always be there for you." She said and kissed the top of my head.

Jisoo pulled out from the hug and stood up. "Now, finish the food and go take a shower, you still need to go to work."

I nodded and quickly ate the food.

On my way to work, I bumped into someone. But her scent is so... familiar...

"I'm sorry Miss, I didn't mean to–"

That voice... it's hers and I was right...

"Lisa?"

"Jennie?"

I looked at her and she widened her eyes upon seeing me.

This is it Jennie, ask her out.

I took a deep breath before speaking. "U-Uhm Lisa? Would you like to grab some coffee w-with me and maybe we could t-talk?"

"Sure Jen, there's a coffee shop near by. Let's go there."

"Baby..." I whispered.

She looked at me, confused. "Did you say something?" She asked.

I shook my head. "N-Nothing. Let's go?"

She nodded and walked first.

I sighed and followed her. Baby... I missed you calling me that.

As soon as we got to the coffee shop, we ordered some coffee and sat down.

Lisa cleared her throat and spoke first. "So Jen, what do you want to talk about?"

I composed myself before talking. "H-How are you Lisa? It's been 2 years already..."

"I'm doing good Jen. How about you? You're the COO of your company right?"

I chuckled. "Never been better and yeah... But look who's talking, I can't believe you kept it as a secret for a long time."

She shook her head and sadly smiled at me. "I'm sorry for not telling you before Jen, I just don't want people to know who I really am. I just want a simple, normal and private life."

I only looked down when she told me that. It went silent for a few minutes. I'm still arguing with myself whether I should ask her or not, but f*ck it!

I deeply inhaled and faced her again. "Lisa?" I called her.

"Hmm?"

"Do y-you... Do you still l-love me?" There I said it.

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. I anxiously waited for her to speak and by the looks of it, I think I already know the answer.

"Jen..." She held my hand. "I loved you but..."

You love her... I know...

"I love Rosé now. I'm sorry..." She was about to stand up but I stopped her.

Tears began to build up in my eyes as I look at her. "I... I want you b-back, Lis. Please?"

She went near me and wiped the tears that were already falling. I hugged her tightly and she let me for a few minutes before pulling out from it. She looked at me and cupped my faced. "Hey, stop crying please?"

All I could see is sadness in her eyes, no more love in it and it's hurting me inside. I already knew... I lost her for good.

"Lisa... p-please?" I said, pleading to her.

She slowly shook her head and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, Jen..." She said and walked away.

I couldn't do anything anymore... I wanted to stop her but I can't, I already lost her. I cried until there were no more tears coming out of my eyes, not caring about the people staring at me.

I'm sorry, Lili... Be happy.