ephemeral // matty healy

zombie

Ronan got to work early on Monday. He couldn't sleep so he was sitting at his desk before Ruth had opened the office. Hamidi gave him a key because he had been with the company for so long and because would frequently work over the weekends.

It was nearly five in the morning, though. Even he had to admit that this was out of the ordinary. He thought that work would be a better way to use his time than staring up at his ceiling.

He reluctantly opened the file named "background_forest_v2" into his animation software. It was too technicolor, he thought. His fresh eyes made everything more muted, but it still appeared lush and green.

He had a few 3D figures already made up with 2D heads. They were supposed to be a stand-in, but he didn't mind how they were incorporated. He saved the file and emailed it to Blair, who he was certain would not be awake yet.

To his surprise, he saw her pop-up on his call display.

"Blair?" He asked. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Can't sleep, I'm coming in. See you in a bit."

Ronan tried to protest but before he could open his mouth, the phone had clicked off.

Blair had stumbled into the office only ten minutes later, wearing an old pyjama top tucked into her trousers. Her hair was haphazardly thrown into a bun, with her silver tendrils slipping out only to be tucked behind her ears. She skipped wearing makeup today.

"It's so muggy in here," she groaned as she walked up the stairs to the window. She pushed the window open and let in fresh, cool, morning air.

"Thanks," Ronan said. "Now, look at my forest. What do you think?"

"Too vibrant." Blair's voice was groggy as she craned her neck over to his monitor.

"You don't like it?" He said unsurely.

"I love it," she said as she rubbed her eyes. "It's just way too bright."

Ronan saved a version that muted the greens and blues. Blair stuck her tongue out.

"I liked it better before, but I still don't like it all that much." She trudged around the desk and sat in her chair, prompting a quizzical look from Ronan over the monitors.

"What the fuck," he said plainly. "Are you okay? Is this something I should be concerned about? When my coworker says they don't like something, they normally offer alternative measures before I make the executive decision." His voice was stern, but hurt.

Blair couldn't help but close her eyes forcefully. She breathed out a single gust, harsh and fast.

"I'm sorry Ronan, I'm just frustrated."

"Yeah, but does that give you the right to tear me down?" He chuffed and settled into his chair again. He was back at the forest. "Try again, madam, my older sister has done far worse than you could ever hope to do."

"It's that idiot, Matty," she admitted. "He slept over this past weekend."

Ronan's wide eyes watched as she drooped her head into her hands. A stupid smile snuck onto his face, but Blair couldn't see it from behind her computer. She would have punched him if she did.

"And before you start singing that 'Matty and Blair sittin' in a tree' rhyme, nothing happened."

"Oh." He rolled his eyes. "Then what's the matter, love?"

"Nothing, I guess." Her words were short. They sat in silence as her annoyance swelled greater and more superb by the second.

"Maybe I wanted something to happen," she whispered. Ronan saved his new iteration of the forest then rolled his chair next to Blair on the other side of the desk.

"Okay. Why don't you tell me what's really going on here?" He said. He sat in his chair backwards and hugged the backrest against his chest. "You don't like Matty, you just want to get with him? Or you do like Matty and you want to get with him?"

"I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. I just know that what I want is not what I wanted in the past with him. It feels foreign."

"You never asked me how my date went last week." Ronan said unexpectedly.

Blair quirked an eyebrow at him, "Um, how was it?"

"Great, thanks for asking." Ronan smiled. Blair prodded for more information.

"Have you scheduled another date?"

"No, but we shagged," Ronan said nonchalantly. She nodded, listening to the nitty gritty details he provided. "We might go on another date, but I don't really know what I want yet. Might be a casual thing, or I might have already imagined a future for us in my head. Point is: who cares what is going to happen if we're both happy."

"Ronan, I'm not you. Plus, I don't know if I can keep my personal life and my work life so close together. I have to keep Matty on the work side first, and do a good job with the video before I even consider inserting him into my personal one."

"Unless they love the work you do so much on this video that they ask for another one. Then he'll be perpetually stuck on the work side." Ronan tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. They both knew what she wanted.