The Blackout Girl ✔️

chapter forty-four

Chapter Forty-Four

Nolan hadn't moved from the couch since they arrived at the Dallas FBI Field Office. He'd been planted firmly on the sofa for hours, his shirt still plastered to his lean frame, his hair stuck to his forehead, stiff with sweat and what was left of the crimson stain. He was catatonic, staring straight ahead with empty brown eyes. His cheeks were ruddy, a sharp contrast to his pale skin.

He was a ghost. When Kaytee looked at him, that was what she saw. He seemed like he was barely alive. She could hardly make out the rise and fall of his breath under the bulletproof vest. He still hadn't taken it off yet.

When they got back, everyone except Nolan shed the vests in the interest of comfort. It had been a long, draining day, and Price sent them all home. Even he was gone already, but Kaytee idled at her desk. She could see Nolan hiding in the conference room, frozen in the same position he'd been in for hours.

He'd been the one to kill her. It was him. He could still envision the echoes of gunfire, even if the nightmare was over. In this state, he wasn't mentally present. Not really, anyway. Kaytee wasn't even sure if she was fully aware.

This time, it really was over, and it was hard for any of them to grasp that.

She stepped into the boardroom, knocking against the frame of the door. "Hey, Nolan?"

He wasn't in there. She didn't know where he'd gone, but she knew he wasn't with her.

There was no danger anymore, but in his mind, he wasn't safe. Maybe that's why he wouldn't speak.

"He's going to struggle for a long time," Dre had told her an hour ago. "It's hard to shake this stuff off. He had to kill a suspect, and it's gonna haunt him."

"How do I help him?" she'd asked.

"You can't."

"What can I do?"

"Be there when he comes out of it," Dre answered. "We're all here for him. The first time you lose a suspect is the hardest, but you learn. He's new. Give him time to cope. He'll come around."

She wasn't sure when he would.

Slowly, she stepped forward until she was in front of him, sitting on the carpet, her hands on his face.

"Nolan?" she whispered.

He blinked, but he didn't look at her.

"Nolan," she said again. "Don't leave me. Please say something."

A deep breath escaped his nose. Otherwise, he made no sound.

Something in those brown eyes flickered. It gave her hope.

She reached up, undoing the first velcro strip on his vest. When he didn't fight her, she worked her way down to the very last one, pulling it away from his chest. She laid it down beside him on the leather cushions and pushed a hand through his chestnut waves, getting them out of his face.

"Let's get you home," Kaytee said.

He nodded. He lifted his chin faintly, and it was enough.

Originally, the plan had been to take him to his apartment. She meant to, but as she led him down the stairs to her car, she knew she couldn't leave him alone. So, she drove them back to her place. He didn't seem to object.

Nolan was watching her. Every so often, he would turn his chin and skim over her face. She was tired, exhausted, just like the rest of the unit was. The adrenaline had faded, and she kept scrubbing at her face as if to wake herself up.