one shot collection

it reminds me that it's not so bad (it's not so bad)

dreamnap

tw: vomiting, mentions of drug use

heavily based on real events except he's my best homie lol

"you okay?"

the nausea comes in waves. he stops dead in his tracks to battle it, eyes screwed shut. a gentle hand rests on his shoulder in an attempt to soothe.

dream watches him closely. he watches him bend forward where he stands, with his knees as support. his breathing is shallow, and beads of cold sweat have collected on his forehead.

he looks sickly, and dream can only be empathetic. the water bottle in his hand has been empty for long. he curses at it, curses at his generosity and bad planning.

sapnap just mutters out a brief response, as if to assure him that everything is fine, even though it's obviously not. he does that a lot. anything that might worry his boyfriend is brushed off as unimportant. dream doesn't need more reasons to feel anxious, in his opinion. it's funny.

his weak legs manage to take him for another walk. he spits at the ground, like he's done so many other times tonight. dream tags along with that worried expression adorning his face, the one that sapnap tried his utmost to prevent.

but it's too late now, and he doesn't have time to care anyway. his mind is foggy. the world seems blurred at the edges, and he could easily float away in the clouds if he just tried.

"do you think you could make it to seven eleven? or do you want me to carry you?"
"i'm not a baby," sapnap croaks.
"no, but you're my baby."

despite being in a state of total disarray he chuckles at that. it's true, no matter how much he whines about it.

street lights line their path to refuge, some flickering from years of wear. the stars are faint in the city sky, yet the crescent moon shines proudly. dream can see the belt of orion twinkling between apartment buildings. in a strange way it's comforting.

he gets distracted by the whirring of distant car engines, of tires against asphalt, and loses his grip on sapnap. he's supposed to be the one in control here, but his drunken mind drifts away regardless.

it's not until gagging sounds cut through the background noise that he realizes where he's going. he's been stumbling out into the street, blindly walking like he owns the world. but it's okay, because no one drives down here at this hour anyway.

he throws a glance over at sapnap who's stopped once again, struggling more than ever. he's swaying, nearly falling over, and dream dashes to get a grip on him.

"hun, are you good for real?"

he already knows the answer to that.

sapnap doesn't reply, but trips over to some bushes instead. he gags again before finally throwing up at the edge of the sidewalk, amongst old cigarette buds and the remains of smashed bottles.

"careful.." dream coos, one hand on his shoulder and the other tucking away his hoodie strings.

he rubs circles into his back like that would help, but it's all he can do. the smell of bile doesn't bother him, and neither do the threads of spit hanging from sapnap's chapped bottom lip. all that matters is that his baby is okay.

the portable speaker is still clipped to a belt loop on the younger's jeans. it's playing stan now, and it's so bittersweet. em's verses blend together like sugar and hot tea.

just when he thinks it's over, sapnap throws up again. little tears spill down his cheeks, and he's so pale like a ghost. dream can feel his heart sting.

"that e was no good, huh?"

sapnap shakes his head limply, sniffling. strands of his hair have started to stick to his clammy forehead, and dream brushes them away. the situation is less than ideal, but still he tries his best to make it work.

"shouldn't have let you take it."

it's not his fault, yet the guilt haunts him. sapnap turns his head to give him a death stare, as if to tell him how dumb he is. dream knows that if he wasn't this weak, he'd be dishing out a hard slap to prove his point. he always does that when dream is acting stupid, because it sets his mind straight.

the leaves of the nearby bush rustle peacefully in the wind. a lonely dove slips through them to hide, and sapnap spits playfully in its direction. even in this dire state his usual, childish self doesn't fail to shine through.

"can we sit down?" he requests, wiping his face with his hoodie sleeve.
"yeah, come on."

dream wraps an arm around him, leading him over to the bus stop a few feet away. the digital screen shows no departures until next morning, and he sighs as he helps sapnap sit down. their backs rest against the cold glass behind them.

he's not really sure what time it is. not that it matters anyway. when he's got his boyfriend by his side, nothing matters. it's like sapnap is the only person in the world in these moments.

his warm body snuggling up to him, his head dropping onto his shoulder. dream rests his own head against sapnap's, intertwines their fingers in his lap. everything is okay.

he lets himself drift off into nothingness while they catch their breaths. the night air is crisp, chilly, but the boy next to him stops him from shivering.

"you feel better now?" he wonders.
"mm.. a lot..."

dream glances down at him as he exhales. his hair is a mess, his cheeks are pale, and there's some saliva still clinging onto his beard, but he's beautiful despite all of that.

he's the most beautiful thing; prettier than all the faded stars above them, prettier than the roadside lilacs and the lustrous park grass, prettier than the stupid crescent moon that's looking down at the earth, prettier than the town square's big apple tree, prettier than anyone could ever fucking be.

he wishes he could tell sapnap all those things, but he's lost in his own little world by now. it's useless.

his pretty boy hums for a bit, and once the chorus hits the humming turns into quiet singing. his voice is unsteady, but it's beautiful nonetheless. almost as beautiful as he himself. almost.

"and even if i could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall,
it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad."