Fullest Heart

Never Too Late

Never Too Late

Her hands were shaking and her heart was racing as she boarded her plane to Paris. Was it the excitement of moving into a whole new country or was it because of the fact that she was low in sugar for having nothing to eat all day that made her like this?

Either way, as soon as she took that seat on the plane, everything started to become tangible.

She was leaving New York.

A place she called home for her entire life. The place where all her family and friends were living. The place where he was living.

Having to think about him made her heart sunk.

Did she make the right decision by moving to Paris and taking this job? Or perhaps did she just make the greatest mistake of her life by doing so?

She shook her head.

No. This wasn't a mistake, she tried to convince herself.

She was leaving not for just any job. This was an opportunity of a lifetime.

Ever since she landed a job in the fashion industry, this had always been her dream job, and Paris was her dream city. She worked her ass off to be where she was right now and she knew an opportunity like this didn't come twice.

This couldn't be a mistake. This was everything she had ever wanted.

.... Right?

She was so confused. If this was everything she ever wanted, then why did she feel so uneasy about leaving New York?

Suddenly her mind drifted away to one particular person she knew damn too well was the reason why moving to Paris made her feel this way.

Ross.

Did she feel this way because she realized by moving to Paris, a chance for them to ever get back together was getting more impossible? Or was it because deep down she knew by moving to Paris, she took a daughter away from her own father?

A sudden rush of guilt hit her, sending a wave of nauseousness on the pit of her stomach.

That was when everything hit her. She was too busy about the excitement of a new career opportunity that she had chosen to ignore the fact that she just took Emma away from Ross just so she could fulfill her dream.

The revelation of what she had done made her feel sick.

Back when she and Ross first dated, she spent a lot of nights listening to Ross on how upset he was when he had to drop Ben off at Carol's, how upset he was whenever he missed Ben's firsts. That time she was on Ross' side, thinking how unfair it was all for Ross. But now, what she had done was far worse than that. She took Emma to another continent and though the company did promise to arrange Ross' visits and paid for all the fees, he wouldn't be able to visit all the time. He had his own job, his own life, it just wasn't that simple.

Taking away Emma from Ross wasn't all that made her feel guilty for leaving for Paris. The fact that Ross was the one who encouraged her to take the job added to a pile of reasons why she felt so much guilt right now.

Why did he do that? Why did he tell her to go knowing he wouldn't be able to see his daughter that much if she left?

She knew how much Ross adored Emma. Emma was his world, just like Ben.

Did he just sacrifice his own happiness to let her follow her dream?

Deep down she knew the answer. Ross was capable of doing literally anything for her. He even turned down a big opportunity on being filmed by Discovery Channel just to accompany her when she was sick even when they weren't on good terms at that moment.