Regulus was conflicted. He wanted to go with James and Sirius, but he was scared. If he didn't go home, he would be just like Sirius and he would no longer be the heir to the Black family. If he didn't go home, there would no longer be that sense of stability he's had his whole life. While he can't say he's particularly happy, he's content, his life is predictable and stagnant. The marauders on the other hand, seemed to be the happiest people at this school, always smiling. It used to bother Regulus, but now, he envied them. Not that it mattered. He knew what he had to do.
As the group of mischievous boys boarded the train, they scanned for a particular curly haired boy. James had informed Remus and Peter of Regulus joining the Potter family for the holidays and this made them uneasy. While they trusted James's judgment, they couldn't help but question the boy. Regulus hadn't exactly been kind to Remus, calling him all kinds of horrid names. Regulus had discovered that Remus was a werewolf fairly quickly after meeting him. Remus understood that most did not appreciate the company of werewolves, but the names still hurt.
"Hey Sirius, have you seen your brother?" James asked. James had yet to see the boy and feared he was avoiding him. Even though Regulus had said he would go with the Marauders to the Potter's house for the holidays, he had been avoiding them for the past week, and that concerned James and Sirius.
Regulus was hiding. He had been for the past forty five minutes of the train ride. He knew he would have to face the world eventually, but he feared that if he saw those warm hazel eyes, he wouldn't go through with his plan, and that would mean that everything would change.
As much as he hated it, Regulus had grown a distinct fondness for the Potter boy--the way he laughed, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, how he dozed off in potions. Regulus knew however, that in order to protect his brother and James from himself, that it was his responsibility to get the dark mark and to distance himself from the Marauders.
James and Sirius left the station confused. Regulus had avoided them the whole train ride, then left with his parents. James could see Regulus was conflicted. It hurt to watch the boy he'd grown so fond of to make all the wrong choices. But they were his choices to make, and James would just have to accept that. James gripped his hair in a frustrated manner. Sirius gave him a knowing look. Sirius had hoped his brother would follow through with their plan... but deep down he knew he wouldn't. He knew that the boy was far too afraid of his parents and the dark lord to run away.
When the Black family arrived home, Regulus was greeted with a lecture about how he had ignored their letters.
The conversation then shifted to the plans for the holidays. Though Regulus was only 15, his parents were meeting with different pureblood families in hopes of marrying off Regulus as soon as possible. Once Regulus took the dark mark, in a matter of days, his fate would be sealed.
He knew he would be unhappy with who ever they planned for him to marry. He knew he could never grow to love them. His heart belonged to someone else. He just didn't want to admit it to himself. His heart belonged to a boy he had not yet grown to know, but that didn't matter. Regulus knew his little habits, he watched him from the corner of his eye, and his heart swelled when he entered a room, but as long as he was Regulus Black, James Potter would never love him back.
