Diggory Is Still A Loser (book 2)

1- Perfection Means Nothing

**the first few chapters of this book will include descriptions of drug use and self-harm. If these things are triggering for you, I suggest skipping them**

After Cedric's funeral, Celia stopped spending time with her parents; Amos and Martha.
Instead, she spent all her time out of the house, as her home was full of too many Cedric memories.
She had wanted to visit the Weasley's, as the twins had promised to support her when she needed it. But the whole family had gone away, without telling her where. So she could only write them letters.
Celia had become an expert at lying in her letters, as she wrote so many. She sent regular ones to Viktor Krum, Fleur Delecour and Benjamin Taylor, and she lied to all of them, saying that she was fine, and coping well with Cedric's death.
The only person she didn't lie to, was Harry, because he was just as miserable and traumatised as she was.

Celia tried all manner of things to take away the pain of losing her brother.
In the end, she ended up filling her body with various types of liquids and herbs, some magical and some Muggle.
These things kept her mind from falling into depression.
Certain drugs kept her numb while others made her high.
Even though her room smelled of awful things, her parents didn't comment on it or stop her from what she was doing, even though it was illegal.
Amos and Martha were so upset about Cedric's death, that they had been ignoring there daughter all summer. Which suited Celia just fine, as she didn't want to see them either.

Eventually an owl from Hogwarts arrived, containing her long awaited exam results.
There was once a time when all that mattered to Celia was getting good OWL results.
But as she opened her letter, she realised that she didn't care if she had failed all her subjects.
"Well?" Asked Martha, who had been in the kitchen at the same time the owl arrived, so had stayed to find out Celia's results.
"I got all Outstandings" answered Celia, without any excitement in her voice.
"Oh. Well done" replied Martha.

"My results would have been completely different, if I'd taken my exams after Cedric's death. But luckily for me, the exams were all completed before the third task" admitted Celia.
"You can do all the subjects you want to at NEWT level now" reminded Martha.
"Yes, I can. But even if I couldn't, I wouldn't care. I don't care about anything any more" sighed Celia.
"None of us do" mumbled Martha, before wandering towards the door.

"I suppose asking for a celebration and results party is too much to ask for, since you even forgot my birthday this year. So asking you to be happy for me, is out of the question" Celia said coldly.
"You don't want a party, as you hate large gatherings of people. So, don't make me and your father feel bad for not throwing you one" replied Martha.
"I might not want a party, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't throw me one. You're my parents, you should want to celebrate my accomplishments. Not many people can get the highest grade possible in all of their subjects. Cedric didn't. I beat him, but you don't care. In your mind I will never be as good as the golden boy" spat Celia.

"Don't say that about your brother" snapped Martha.
"I didn't say anything that wasn't true. I am smarter than him, but you can't see it. You think that he was perfect in every way, but he wasn't" admitted Celia.
"How can you say that-"
"He was my brother, and I loved him, but even I can say that he wasn't perfect. It's just you and father who insist on putting him on a pedestal. I miss him like crazy, but I'm not going to go around telling everyone that he was some perfect flawless being. I'm just as good as him, but you can't see it. Your favourite child is dead, and you need to get over it, and take notice of your living kid" interrupted Celia.

"Get out!" Shouted Martha.
"Don't worry, I'm already going" sighed Celia, as she headed up the stairs towards her room.
Once alone, she sat down on her bed and tore her OWL results apart. She then let the pieces fall down onto the floor.
Celia didn't care that she had gotten perfect results, and neither did her parents.
Amos refused to even speak to Celia most days, so she didn't think he'd be any more pleased about Celia's grades than her mother.

Celia felt tears brewing behind her eyes and she quickly pulled out the drawer from under her bed, where she kept her drugs.
She grabbed hold of a vial that contained diluted laughing potion. It was sold on the streets of Knockturn Alley, and instead of constant laughing it made the drinker feel light headed and happy, as if they were floating on a cloud.
Celia tipped the vial down her throat and waited for the effects to kick in before she broke down and started crying.

Before Celia started taking drugs she fell apart multiple times a day, as Cedric's death was too much for her to handle.
Relying on illegal substances allowed her to enter a false happy state. But she found that pretending to be happy, was better than being sad all the time.
She didn't like that she had become reliant on the drugs, but she didn't know how else to deal with her pain, so she had no intention of stopping.