Forever and Never

Two: Gotta Have Soul

Warnings: mentions of marijuana

Word Count: 2876

     "What was school like for you?"

    "Like, a regular school day?"

    "Yeah, like a regular school day."

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    A normal day of school for me was like walking around in a glass bubble. This isn't a metaphor for personal space, but rather the concept of fitting in. Clearly, I fit in at school, but not in the way I expected to. I could walk amongst my peers and smile in their faces, talk with them, but it'd be difficult to hear through the glass of my bubble. We could reach out to each other and hope for a connection, but our hands would forever be disconnected by the glass. But they seemed to be fine with it. They didn't want to come into my bubble, they just wanted to admire me from the outside. And I supposed I was fine with that, as well. It wasn't like I opened my bubble for anyone, even invited anyone inside. I let Dina in once and got paranoid. Paranoid that she'd take up the air, that she'd hate my bubble and what I'd have to offer within it. So, I did what I thought was best and kindly asked her to leave. Assured her that she could maybe come back another time, when I was ready. As the sweet and considerate person that she was, she had no problem with it.

    Stan didn't need to live in a glass bubble because he didn't need to fit in. And I've never needed to open the bubble myself to allow him access. He was welcome anytime and entered as he pleased. He was the only person who understood me. I realize that we had more in common than I thought. No one understood our fashion senses, our tastes in music, the way we preferred to keep to ourselves. I could breathe around him and smile and laugh, I mean actually laugh. It was just a shame it all had to wait until after school. Stan and I lived in two different worlds at school. Sometimes I'd catch a ride with him if he left his house the same time I did mine. The second we would set foot on the school campus, we were strangers. It wasn't that we were embarrassed of each other, I just think Stan was intimidated by the crowd I attracted. Hell, I was intimidated by the crowd I attracted. I'd much rather be walking down those halls with Stan, Dina, and Sydney (if she was comfortable with me). Luckily, I had classes with each of them.

    I had nearly every class with Dina, save for honor choir and theatre classes. We found a way to sit near each other in every class we had and talked about everything and nothing for the entire hour. Half of my classes were with Stanley, and those hours were full of glancing at each other and playfully winking or blowing kisses. He'd pass me notes old-school style, but always avoided the route that would lead to either Ricky or Brad. We had a couple of run-ins that led to them teasing Stan before the note could even reach me. Study hall was one of the only times Stan and I would actually sit together and talk in school. Sometimes we'd study, sometimes we'd skip and go smoke outside. Nonetheless, we'd make the most out of our time together.

    I only had two classes with Sydney and both included Dina, so there still wasn't much going on between us at school. She wasn't as active in gym class as we were, so it was a lot of her cheering us on when we played basketball or dodgeball. She was usually the person to hand me Stan's notes in science, having to dodge Ricky and Brad's grabbing hands so that I could quickly snatch it. Luckily, I only had two classes with Ricky and Brad, and they both included Dina and Stan. So, I was never trapped in an uncomfortable situation with Ricky before their eyes.

    Science was the most chaotic class for me. Not only did I not care for the subject, but my seat was away from both Stan and Dina. I was nearly sandwiched between Ricky and Brad, which set me on edge most days. Despite this, I simply tried my best to focus on my school work. "And yes, during arousal, there is an increase in all sorts of things, including adrenaline and, of course, blood flow," Mr File droned on as I wrote down notes in my notebook. Dina always said she thought it was cute how I used different colors for each day. Little did she know, once I started this system, I couldn't stop it. This was to the point that I had to buy a set of pens for each class. I couldn't use my green math pen for my Tuesday science class. "and the blood flow continues down and then gets trapped within the corpora cavernosa. The penis expands, and this is how the Homo sapien male is able to hold an erection. Yes?"