Forever and Never

Three: You Could Be

Warnings: sexual assault and a horribly written cheer

Word Count: 3267

     "So, you and Richard were a couple again after you returned to Brownsville?"

    "No... no, we were not."

    "But you let him believe you were."

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    "Have a good day at school, sweetheart!"

    I don't think there was an ounce of me that actually liked Ricky.

    "You, too, Aunt Pam!"

    And I definitely didn't mean to string him along like I did.

    "Love you!"

    It's just...

    "Love you too!"

    Sometimes I had to prove to myself that I was worthy when it was clear that Stan had no feelings for me. When I stepped out the next morning and saw that he'd already left his home, I knew he was planning to catch up with Sydney and give her a ride to school. It shouldn't have been such a big deal to me, but it still tugged at my heart just a bit. A part of me was angered at the thought of Stan trying anything with Sydney, while the rest was rational. He wasn't mine, I wasn't his. I had someone who clearly wanted me, but I always pushed him away. Why didn't I like Ricky when I should have? We were everyone's favorite couple, we hardly ever fought, he'd take me out to dates regularly. Sure, he had his faults, but so did I. So, why did I not like Richard Berry?

    The day I felt my anger towards Stan embed itself into my veins was the same day the idea of Ricky and I being a couple once more was sparked. It started in science class. It seemed Ricky had been waiting for me to get there, for he was early to class for once. So early that he and I were the only ones in the room. I casually strolled to my desk, setting my backpack on the ground beside my seat. Ricky watched me with a patient smile, drumming rhythmically on his desk he was leaning on. When I sat in my seat, he then rested his elbows against his desk, a glint in his eye as he watched me. "Good morning, (Y/N)."

    "Morning, Ricky. You're in class early."

    "Ah, because I know you're always here early. And I wanted to talk to you."

    "You always want to talk to me." I hummed, taking out my materials for class. When my fingernail scratched against the fabric of my backpack, I hissed in dissatisfaction and gently bit my nail, trying to keep my mind at ease. This was another one of my compulsions. Ricky's eyes flicked from my finger then back to my face, as if he'd just remembered what was wrong with me.

    "Because I love talking with you, babe." He grinned, taking a seat at his desk. I rolled my eyes and began to scold him, but he cut me off. "I know, I know. You don't like it when I call you that. It's just... I'm still getting used to it."

    "You're still getting used to not calling me babe even after half a year since our break-up." I deadpanned. Ricky moved his eyes all around, as if he was about to answer an obvious question.

    "Yes? What did you expect, (Y/N)? For me to get over you so quick? Do you want me to say it? Do you honestly want me to say it?"

    "Say what, Ricky?"

    "I'm in love with you!"

    "Still?" My eyes widened as I stared back at him in shock. He frantically nodded his head and I tried to formulate a sentence in my mind, but our classmates had begun filing in. As if I hadn't just been confessed to, I turned forward in my seat, training my eyes on my notebook. I heard Dina greet me on the way to her seat, but I only gave a small smile. Ricky seemed to have understood my unresponsive behavior, for he turned forward as well.