A Pirate's Tale [Larry Stylinson]

17 - Comfort

Harry let his hand trail down the smaller one's back, cherishing their welcomed but undeniably strange embrace. Strange, mainly because Harry could barely remember when he last had the chance to hug him, let alone, when he last felt the emotions that came with it.

Louis seemed so tiny compared to the captain. Like Harry needed to protect him. But the captain knew very well how wrong that assumption was. And he wouldn't allow himself to be too naive, and fall for it again. Louis wasn't tiny or weak. No matter how much it seemed like it. Harry remembered just too well what had happened last time he made the mistake of underestimating Louis. And he didn't want to risk it again. The action on the ship was the freshest reminder to support Harry's claim.

,,Are you alright?" Louis' voice suddenly disrupted the quiet, drawing Harry's mind away from his thoughts, finding himself still pressing Louis lightly against his own body while his hand laid on his lower back.

,,Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I was just thinking about England. We're gonna reach it by... tomorrow... evening, right?"

Harry let go of Louis, taking a few steps back as he stuttered out his words, hoping it would at least somewhat convince the smaller one that his odd behavior was really just a result of his mind trailing off.

,,I think so."

,,Well, let's hope we don't run into too much trouble then."

,,I wouldn't be too concerned about that yet. It's still barely noon, so you'll have a few more spare hours before you actually need to worry."

Harry nodded in a daze, before he noticed something. Something he had almost forgotten about.

,,I might need to worry about something else first. If you keep the sword on you, that is."

,,Do I have to give it back?"

,,Yes. It's a rule!"

,,But you said I could keep it. Remember? On the ship?"

,,I didn't say that."

,,No, I think you did. Right before you tried to kiss me."

Harry's glance went back up, only to be met with the slight smirk that had formed on Louis' face, who just lifted his eyebrows like he expected Harry to respond. Or at least he thought the Captain might start another desperate attempt and try to talk himself out of it again.

,,I would never."

,,Sure you wouldn't. Not like you didn't do it before."

Louis actually had no intentions of bringing it up again, especially since Harry exclaimed that 'he didn't mean to' right after it had happened. But since Harry had tried it again, Louis just couldn't help himself but mention it. So he waited for a response but no further word left the captain's mouth.

Instead of giving a sign or an answer, Harry simply leaned against his own desk, crossing his arms in front of his chest while his gaze fell upon the ground. He was trying to ignore the comment as best as he could, but it was hard to deny that he had acted very obvious about wanting to kiss Louis.

Taste his lips again, like he had missed out on them.

All those years without being close to Louis, when all he really wanted was clarity and the feeling of being loved again.

Maybe he still felt exactly those emotions for his once lover. But he forbid himself from fully admitting to it.

So he pondered on, drifting into a daydream that caused him to almost lose sight of Louis.

Harry barely noticed how Louis stepped closer, taking off his sword in the process to place the sharp object onto the desk behind the captain, only to stop close to Harry, nudging his shoulder lightly to get his attention. It worked, but only until Harry lost himself again in Louis' blue eyes, which kindly sparkled up at him.

He bit his bottom lip in an attempt to hold himself back, but it was no use, because before he knew, Louis' lips laid on his, soft and sweet, gently kissing him. It came from out of the blue. Yet, the gesture was somehow more than welcome.

A pleasant warmth ran down his spine, as he returned the lovely favor, leaning slightly down to meet Louis more easily. The feeling made his heart flutter. It felt so good. He had to admit it.

But there was something odd, which he couldn't quite pinpoint.

He knew Louis loved him, even if he hadn't said it in the form of a confession yet. But was it really fair to say that Harry loved him too? It would be dishonest and Harry was sure that he would feel some sort of guilt, if they kept going.

The captain stopped the kiss, turning away slightly, as his hands grabbed onto the table behind him, like he needed the extra support to stand properly.

He was conflicted, because maybe, if he were to confess his love to Louis, it would be a bit too honest for his own liking. It would make Harry vulnerable, and he didn't want that. Regardless of how obvious the signs were, Harry still pushed them aside, ignoring them whenever he had the chance to actually act upon his underlying urges.

,,Should I leave?" The tiny voice asked gently, still close to him, looking up at him with a stern but questioning expression.

,,No!... No, it's fine."

,,Sure?"

Harry nodded, turning his head slightly to meet the eyes of the smaller one again. They were so beautiful, so lively, so blue.

And as he gazed, a thought struck his mind. Could he not simply enjoy being with Louis? Kissing him and being close, without having to force himself to say 'I love you'. That would surely make him happy, but it would make him naive and weak. He couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable with Louis. But if he really were to fall in love again, how was he supposed to stand in his own way. Forcing himself to conceal his feelings for such a long time could sometimes feel like a greater torture than the risk of being set on fire again.

Could Harry not just get over himself.

So he put his mind to it by laying on a kind smile, gently placing his hand on Louis' cheek, pressing another, soft kiss onto the smaller one's pale lips. It was a rather short-lived pleasure, but at least it was something. And it felt good. No commitment or confession needed.