𝐻𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑧𝑜𝑛 - 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧

¹⁶

"Hey...you know you don't have to tell him right? It's all up to you, who knows and who doesn't know" hongjoong was alit wiser than he led on...and I really appreciated his advice right now.

"Yeah...it's just...you know I like him, but ever since everything that happened it's just been hard to even get close to him. It feels wrong because he got so protective even though I was never with him like that." I felt so emotionally exhausted whenever it came to Yunho, I know Hongjoong could tell I felt that way too.

"Well, as I always say. Take it slow...tell him when you, yourself are ready" Hongjoong leaned across the couch we were sat on and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Jae, you know I love you...after everything that happened you've kinda turned into my younger brother, ignoring what happened that one time though" his laughter filled the room as he chuckled along to his words.

The sound of our laughter rang through the early morning, filling the empty air with a youthful melody.

"Thank you Joong...really, it means a lot to me knowing I have you to talk to." His smile stretched from ear to ear as he pulled me back into a hug once more before letting go.

"Okay it's pretty early now, I have class in a few hours so I should head back home and get ready." His words made my smile halt but he was right and I didn't want to make him late to class.

"Before you go...ah...thanks for staying the night, last night, you didn't have to but it really means a lot" he leaned over and kissed the top of my head before walking over to the front door.

Putting his shoes on before saying "it's not problem, as I said...I really care for you Jae" after that we both said our fairwells and so I was left in my apartment alone...the lingering thought of Yunho in the back of my mind.

"What to do...what to do" I sang as I walked aimlessly around my apartment. I didn't have any classes today but Min did...so did the rest of the boys.

As I wondered around my apartment I heard a knock on my door. Obviously curious to who it may be, I walked over to the door and unlocked it revealing a nervous looking Yunho.

"I...um..hi?" I questioned, my nerves obvious as the stutter in my voice was present. Yunho fumbled with his sleeves before looking up from the floor and into my eyes.

"I...fuck" before I even knew what was happening, Yunho pressed his lips against mine. Involuntarily my legs began to walk backwards, bringing the two of us inside my apartment.

Our lips moving against each other's as his large hands moved down my body to rest on my hips before slowly reaching around to the backs of my thighs and lifting me up.

My hands found their way to Yunho's hair, tangling themselves within his beautiful locks. His fingers digging into my thighs as he held me up, walking across the apartment and up to the kitchen where he lightly placed me on the counter.

His knees pushed between mine, spreading my leads apart so he could stand between them.
"Jae...I...I think...no, I do...I like you, like a lot and I don't know if you feel that way aswell but I wanted to ask" he paused his words as I sat there in anticipation.

"Would you allow me to take you on a date sometime?" He blurted out as his hands held onto my own. His eyes were glossy as his built up nerves began to surface, his puffy red lips matching my own but as I sat there in silence his nervous smile turned into a frown.

"Yunho..I..." I took a deep breath in, but when Yunho stepped back the warmth feeling I felt dissapeared. "Do..do you like Hongjoong? Is that it?" His voice cracked in both sadness and fear as he spoke which caused my heart to ache.

"No that's not it...Yunho I was about to say yes, I just want to take it slow because I really don't want to mess things up" I lied, I was scared of him finding out the truth.

What was I supposed to say, hey Yunho I'm trans. Probably...but I'm more scared of losing him, I wanted him in my life no matter what. Though is not telling him the whole truth worth it?

I mean what happens when it comes to...doing it? I can't grow a penis or anything, plus I can't afford a second surgery even if I did want it...top surgery was expensive enough.

I guess it's something I'll have to tell him someday, probably before things get too serious.

For now I guess I just want to make sure that I do see a future with him.

"Wait...really?" His excited voice was loud as he jumped around like a lost puppy.
"Okay...um...can I take you out Wednesday night?" He took both my hands as he smiled widely, searching my eyes for an answer.

"Ofcourse you can Yunho"