𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 [JJK x Child OC]

not a chapter

hi i'm sorry that this isn't a chapter. i haven't been emotionally stable enough to write and i really keep trying because i enjoy it seeing you guys love every chapter i put out and it gives me so much motivation. but these days, i've been so fucking depressed and crying all the time. as selfish as this sounds, it feels like i have no one talk to. my family think i'm selfish and immature. my friends are busy with their own problems and lives so i just cry in my room every single day by myself to the point my eyes are red and my head hurts.

trigger warning but i've been feeling so suicical lately. i feel like everyday I'm so close to doing it but i'm so scared to die. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so tired. i really can't do this anymore. probably no one cares because a one in a billion human being and i don't really matter. i'm just a burden to everyone around me. my mom always calls me a cry baby for crying and to grow up because i'm young and don't have any problems but mentally i do. everytime i cry by myself i feel so guilty because i feel like I'm not allowed to cry because other people are going through way worse.

another reason why I'm a selfish person. another reason why me leaving this world would make my family happy. they wouldn't have to be angry all the time about me anymore. 

i feel so alone. i don't even feel human anymore. all i do is cry and my heart really aches. i don't see a reason for me to stay here anymore. writing this book made me really happy and i really did enjoy it but i'm so tired. 

i feel like i'm stuck whilst everyone else is moving forward. i don't know what to do with myself or my life anymore. 

i really and truly just want to end it all. and i know you're thinking why am i even writing this here it's because i really have no one to talk to. 

and i'm sorry for wasting your time. i'm not worth any of your time. 

update:

honestly thank you guys for all the sweet comments that you've left i didn't really expect that much and was in shock and crying whilst reading them. after taking time for myself, i feel better than i did when i was writing this and yes the depressing thoughts are still there but i'm still working on it! really thank you guys for taking the time to care and leave supportive messages for me. i won't be discontinuing the book as i still really do enjoy writing it and you guys love reading it. all your comments have made me realize that even if my family don't understand me there's still other people around the world that will.