Home (A Camren Fanfic)

Chapter 1

27 year old Lauren Jauregui looked up and smiled as her old friend, 30 year old Ally Brooke, joined her in a small café in New York.

"How are you, Lauren?" Ally asked.

"I've been better," Lauren said, "To be honest, I haven't been sleeping," she said.

"Writer's block?"

Lauren chuckled as she took a sip of coffee. After Fifth Harmony, Lauren wanted to continue pursuing her music career but since Camila was skyrocketing up the charts like it was nothing, Lauren decided not to compete against her former bandmate so she pursued a career in writing and the only book she had published was an autobiography of her life when she was in Fifth Harmony. No one knew her beyond that since Camila was always center of attention and since Lauren was always quiet and reserved.

"I wish it was but it isn't," Lauren said as she looked down at her cup.

"Was it that day?"

Lauren nodded silently. Her heart was beating really fast as her thoughts drifted to that day. Lauren shut her eyes as she took a deep breath. She opened them and gave a weak smile at the older woman.

"So, how's you and Troy?" Lauren asked.

Ally smiled, "We're great. Being married to him is the best thing that has ever happened in my life."

Lauren's smile widened, "Good for you, Ally. I'm happy for you," she said.

"Thanks, Lauren," Ally said.

"So um... Have you heard from the rest of the girls?" Lauren asked.

"Normani's living the dream. She's literally the next Beyoncé," Ally said, "It's crazy."

"And Dinah?"

"She's with her family," Ally said.

"I don't get why you won't just talk to them. I mean, they'll be glad to hear from you," Ally said.

Lauren shook her head as she looked down, "Not after what happened."

"Lauren, you have to stop beating yourself up for what happened," Ally said.

"Yeah but it was my fault," Lauren said as she looked up and met Ally's gaze. Lauren looked down as she shook her head. She took off her glasses and ran her fingers through her long dark hair.

"You still do that, huh?" Ally asked with a smile.

Lauren let out a light chuckle, "It's a habit, I guess," she said.

"It's good to see you again, Lauren," Ally said.

Lauren smiled, "You too, Ally."

~

"Lauren, they expect a new manuscript this Friday," her agent, Steve, said. Lauren just ignored him as she watched the television. Frustrated, Steve grabbed the remote and shut the television off.

"Hey!" Lauren exclaimed.

"I'm serious, Lauren," he said, "If you don't give them your manuscript on Friday, you'll be cut. And you won't have anyone to publish your books," he said.

"I never wanted this anyways," Lauren said.

"So what? You're gonna quit? Is that it?" Steve asked.

"Because the Lauren Jauregui I knew wasn't a quitter. She was a fighter," he said, "What happened to her?"

"She died a long time ago," Lauren said as she gave him a look.

"Fine then. I quit," he said as he tossed the remote onto the sofa and walked out of Lauren's apartment.

Lauren grabbed the remote and turned the television on. She changed the channels several times before something caught her eye. It was none other than Camila Cabello. It was a live concert performance on MTV.

"Okay so I'm gonna do a little throwback if that's okay with you," Camila said as the crowd went wild.

"Okay so I was in this girl group called Fifth Harmony. Have you guys ever heard of it?" Camila asked as she pointed her microphone towards the crowd as the crowd roared.

"This song is called Sledgehammer, I hope you guys like it," Camila said.

"If you could take my pulse right now, it would feel just like a sledgehammer..."

Lauren felt her heartbeat quickened as tears filled her eyes. Camila was as good as she was before, maybe even better. Her voice had matured and Lauren could tell the difference because she used to be exhausted after every song but now, she sang the song with so much energy and passion. It seemed so effortless. Lauren watched as the girl she once knew was killing it on the stage as a woman she barely knew.

"Thank you guys! I love you!" Camila said as she exited the stage.

Lauren grabbed the remote and shut it off. She tossed the remote on the table as she buried her face into her hands.

"Oh god," she said as she sucked in a deep breath. Lauren lifted her head up as she looked at her hands as they began to tremble. She rubbed her wrist nervously before she stood up and limped her way to the bedroom. She took out a few orange pill bottles and downed a few pills with a glass of water.

"Shit."

~

"Lauren? Where are you?"

"I can't do this, Lauren."

"Please... TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG!"

"I'm sorry, Lauren..."

Lauren awoke to a loud screeching sound. She sat up as she looked around. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat as she tried to catch her breath. Lauren ran her hands through her hair. The voices in her head, the images... They wouldn't stop.

"You're weak."

"You're pathetic."

"She never loved you."

"She never cared about you!!"

"SHUT UP!!" Lauren exclaimed as she pushed her lamp over the bedside table and the lamp shattered. The noises, the voices and images suddenly stopped and Lauren sat in utter darkness in her room.

"Shit," Lauren muttered under her breath.