Blind Ambition | ✓

22 | Painkillers

I drove to school alone that Monday with a headache. The cold had settled in for good as frost clung to the windows of my car and my breath turned to smoke every time I exhaled. The morning sun flashed like strobe lights as it weaved in and out of bare branches, and it made my headache worse.

I had slept through most of Sunday and ignored texts from basically everyone, and as Monday rolled in like a storm cloud, dread settled in my stomach. I almost called out sick, but my mom wasn't having it and roused me with just enough time to half-dress myself and get to school before first free period was over. I hadn't worn a tie in two weeks, and to no one's surprise, I hadn't gotten in trouble yet.

As I pulled into my usual parking spot, I typed up a text with shaky hands. I blamed the cold.

DALLAS GUNTHER: I need to talk to you. Meet me at my locker in 5.

The text sent with a whoosh, and I was sure that's how my soul sounded as it escaped my body. I felt like I was about to be a passive onlooker in my own life, but maybe it was inevitable. Me in my own body was racking up bad decisions like extra points.

My loafers echoed off all the empty spaces as I trudged across the linoleum floors of the front hallway, as most students had at least somewhere to be for first period. My heart sank when I saw Jordyn leaning against my locker already waiting for me, golden strands of hair framing her face as she had her head tilted down into her phone. I let out a heavy sigh before approaching her.

"Hey," I greeted her as she slid herself away from my locker so I could open it. I dropped off my afternoon books and fumbled for nothing in my backpack to avoid eye contact with her.

"What happened?" she asked as she casually placed a hand on my forearm. "You went dark this weekend after the party, I was texting you and you weren't answering."

"Yeah, I had a really bad hangover." The lie slipped through my teeth effortlessly. "Just had to sleep it off."

When I finally looked up at her, she smiled at me and it made my heart lurch. She moved so that she stood in front of me with her back to the rest of the hallway, and I felt myself back into my locker. She had me cornered without even trying.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Dallas?"

I raked a hand through my hair. "It's just...this weekend..."

I swallowed back all my doubt, but before I could say any more, the floodgates opened up, and kids from every classroom spilled out into the hallways as first period ended. I groaned and leaned my head back against my locker. "Jordyn-"

She held her hand up to stop me. "Look, before you say anything, I just...I wanted to apologize for what happened at the Halloween party."

"Apologize?" I scoffed. "For what?"

She winced as she bit down on her glossy lower lip. "I shouldn't have just like...jumped you and kissed you without your permission. I know we were all kind of buzzed and whatever, but that's not really an excuse."

In football, there was a euphemism called Monday Morning Quarterback, where after game weekends a quarterback would watch game film and be able to point out where he could have done things differently or what he could have changed to make situations more in his favor. It was basically just the less cliche football version of hindsight is 20/20. While this generally didn't apply to me since I usually made the best decisions possible in a game, it obviously did not apply to other aspects of my life.

If I had known Jordyn was going to apologize for unknowingly (or knowingly) sabotaging my moment with Kaia, I would have made more of an effort to remedy the situation. I'd texted Kaia a few times after she had left, but she'd rightfully ignored me, and I let it go. I let her go. But Monday Morning Quarterback knew better.