Eve

15

Eve stayed over for a sleepover at my house after. I wanted to get her away from her house for a bit just in case her parents went on yelling for any longer. Or the yelling got worse. But after Eve went to bed at my side, I couldn't get my mind off of the future with her gone. Everything up until now since I moved has been about her. And gazing at her soft expression asleep next to me, I wondered how I could ever bare leaving the image of her face behind. 

I wouldn't allow myself to cry, though. Not yet at least. Just as Eve had said before, it's better to stay positive now then sulk up until she was gone. So in case she really did move, I would need to spend everyday full of contemplation that I have her now.

Later that week I sat at the docks, dangling my bare feet just inches above the water and trying to clear my head. I didn't realize it would be this hard not to think about the situation Eve was dealing with right now. I couldn't even imagine how she was dealing with it.

Footsteps behind me were what snapped me out of my thoughts. I snapped my head around, a little startled by the thumps in the wood planks. "I didn't expect you to be here all alone." It was Tanner, blocking the sun from blinding my eyes as he stood before me.

I stood, brushing the dirt from my dress. If my space was going to be interrupted, it would be best if I just left. I hardly knew Tanner anyway. 

"Uh- yeah. Just thinking," I said.

Tanner titled his head a bit, "I think I know what's on your mind." He started to fiddle with the bucket of water in his hand and set down the rag over his shoulder.

"I'm her friend too. Same with Milo. We're all worried," he said.

"I know. I just can't get it out of my head," I got distracted by his chore, "What are you doing by the way?"

Tanner cleared his throat, dipping the rag in the water, "Cleaning the boat. It's been a while."

I looked towards the dirt covered canoe and cringed. I guess I hadn't really paid much attention to its state when I was riding in it before. Now I wondered how I had bared to even sit in it at all.

"Umm. Do you want a hand?" I found myself asking. 

"That would be great. It's so hot, I wanna get out of this heat soon," Tanner chuckled, wiping the sweat forming on his forehead.

I chuckled a bit, but if I was being honest it was a bit nerve wracking hanging out with him. We had only hung out a while ago with Milo and Eve there to help the tension. Now we were like strangers.

"You've gotten really close with Eve."

I looked up from working on scrubbing the seat of the canoe when Tanner spoke up with a statement rather than a question.

"I guess so. She was the first person who reached out to me when I moved here," I admitted, remembering back to that first day I had spilled ice cream on her shirt and she asked to hang out. The day had been one of the best of my life.

"I can see why you'd be really sad when she leaves," Tanner said.

"Yeah..." I muttered.

"But not only 'cause she reached out though," I realized Tanner had paused for a moment, looking to me, "You like her, don't you?"

I froze, blush covering my face. He didn't mean "like", right? I scrubbed harder, becoming embarrassed at my expression, "O-Of course I do! As a friend! Not any more than that. That would be awkward." I laughed. Probably a bit more than I should've to hide how uncomfortable I was.

When Tanner didn't say anything, I finally looked up to see his eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, Lena. You..." his pauses were making my heart pound, "...you- you like her? Like that?"

I inhaled sharply, "N-No. I didn't say that."

Tanner tilted his head, "Then why are you getting so defensive? And uncomfortable?"

"Well, I-" I bit my lip. Jeez, it was a bad idea. I knew I should've walked away when I had the chance. But then he started to laugh, his expression turning soft, "Nah, Lena. I've known you love her. Now my theories have been confirmed."

"Wait-" I stepped forward, but wobbled a bit realizing I was on the canoe while he was on the dock.

Tanner interrupted me, "Chill, okay? It's not like I'll tell anyone. I just want you to be honest."

I gulped, realizing it was too late and wondering how he had figured it out so easily, "How did you know?"

"You can tell so easily. The way you look at her and stuff. It's like you've just seen an angel fall from the sky," he laughed, "You always admire her and stuff. And your face is beat red the second you talk to her."

I became embarrassed, hiding my face. I didn't think it had been THAT noticeable, "Do you think Milo or Eve know?"

"Well, no. I don't think Milo would care anyway. Eve on the other hand would probably act up on it if she knew," Tanner sighed, sitting down on the edge of the dock to get closer to work on the sides of the boat. I listened closely, sitting down as well to finally hear the perspective of another.

"I know you're not dumb, Lena. Eve and Milo," he scratched the back of his neck, "I've been third wheeling for a while now."

At that my expression dropped, "Yeah... I've realized."

"But it's the same situation. Just like Eve is blind to your feelings towards her, she's also blind to Milo's feelings towards her. Same with Milo. They both like each other, they're just too shy because they're scared of rejection. It's been like that for a while now even though it's blatantly obvious they like each other," Tanner rolled his eyes, "And I'm stuck between them in an endless cycle of, 'do you think she really likes me?' It's annoying at this point."

I didn't say anything. I was a little uncomfortable now at the topic, but it was something I couldn't avoid forever.

"I'm sorry, Lena. Eve doesn't like girls either anyway."

Yeah, thanks a lot. I knew that but you still had to hit me with the truth like a brick.

But was I really going to go on denying this forever?

As the tension got thick again, Tanner began to get frantic, "I didn't mean to make you really sad, though. This probably wasn't the best time..."

"No. No," I waved my hands, "Don't apologize. I needed to be told that sooner than later. Even if I already know, I shouldn't keep pushing it aside like it's not a big deal."

He looked at me with pity, "Maybe it's good she might move away for a bit. You know, Lena, situations like this, there's heartbreak destined to happen. It happens with every relationship, there's always something tough to get through. But rather than forgetting all about it, you need to admit it to yourself and heal before you become too shattered."

My heart pained a little. Aching with the subject being tossed around so easily. I kept being hit with the reality over and over which my head never wanted to ponder on. Tanner made me realize it was something I had to fight now rather than later. I needed to let my emotions free somehow. I can't live life hung up on her forever. I needed to say goodbye.