𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 , 𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳

𝐨𝐧𝐞.

one - reality.

alexandra's pov ||

one thing about me is that i am not a relationship girl.. but i also am at the same time.. you know?

like sometimes it's so exhausting seeing all my friends in a relationship. sometimes it makes me want a relationship, but at the same time makes me not want a relationship.

i don't know.. i've never really been a relationship girl. ever since i got my heart broken a few years ago i physically just cannot be in a relationship. whenever i feel myself starting to catch feelings for someone, i'll ghost them. it's really bad.

i'm honestly just so terrified of getting heart broken again..
and also, nobody interests me nowadays. only basketball.

yes, i play basketball. growing up, my dad always had people over and they would play basketball and i would just watch from the window in awe. i started playing and i fell in love with it. i like playing a sport because whenever i play basketball, my mind is always just basketball. it's like my escape, my safe place.

feeling sad? go shoot some hoops. bored? go shoot hoops. the list goes on..

moving on..

my friends are all influencers.. but that's mostly because i'm cousins with chase hudson. i always get invited to places with them but literally nobody cares about me because nobody knows me. people literally know me as chases cousin and nicks ex. it's not fun.

it's so annoying sometimes being cousins with chase because he's friends with everyone, including some
people i hate.
for example: nick. i don't hate him.. or maybe i do.. or actually maybe im just really over him now..
but anyways, we dated a while back in high school, and chase continued to be friends with him knowing that he fucked me over and broke my heart.

i honestly have mixed feelings over chases fame. like that's awesome for him, super awesome. and i'm so so so proud of him.. but like .. ugh. it's just exhausting sometimes.
but hey, i use him for clout sometimes so i can't really be talking.

i'm such a unsocial person, it's sometimes embarrassing.. like i'm that bitch who goes to parties and isolates herself from others. parties are not my scene. i'll usually drag my friends with me if i'm invited, then i'll end up leaving the soonest because i got bored.

i would want a relationship if i could find a guy who was like me. every guy i've met is a douchebag and so fucking full of themselves.
i hate men. they're disgusting piece of shits.

no but in all seriousness.. i wish i could find a guy that is literally me in a guy version.
like ..
my dream guy is like..
over 6 foot.
plays sports, (preferably the same one i play).
gym guy
sweet
fluffy hair
not awkward
preferably a social person so he can do all the speaking for me (😁)
like the bar isn't too high.. but it's high, you know.
and i don't like settling down, so maybe that's why i can never find anyone.

eh, i'd rather be single then settle for less. that's something i like about myself. i don't want to sound like a pick me.. but i literally have never dated a ugly guy. and i think that's a big flex because a lot of my friends have dated or talked to guys who were so fucking ugly. not me tho!!

okayyyy so that was basically it about me. i'm boring as fuck, i know.

BYE NOW

AUTHORS NOTE ||

hey yalll
first chapter of this book!
it's basically just an introduction chapter just with a little backstory of the main character: alexandra.

byyeyeyeye