Robin

day 7

i couldn't get out of bed today.
i wouldn't get out of bed today.

i wasn't ready for another day of this living in this cycle of dread. it had been a week

all outcomes looked bleak and full of heartache

the what if's kept me awake, i wished i could sleep simply to know some peace

in your absence you left a tidal wave in my mind, it was cashing through every part of me

part of me wishes the waves miles high will travel on forever through my mind and destroy every last memory of you

the rest of me clutched on to very glance, every touch. if i thought hard enough sometimes i could hear your heartbeat, as if my head was laid against your chest

i knew one day the wave will crash down, and i will finally leave this purgatory

my thoughts circled around endlessly, i wanted a distraction but everything else that had once occupied my brain had been erased

i couldn't escape you in my dreams either

i watched you walk away silently each time i closed my eyes, each time you had the same expressionless look on your face

not one of sorrow or destain

i had always been able to read you're facial expression, either positive or negative i could sense what you truly felt

i questioned if i had been wrong, maybe i could never read you, maybe i was simply seeing what you wanted me too

i felt a weight build on my chest, i had no one to offload this emotional burden onto

i laid in bed all day today, weighed down by your mystery