day 1

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i looked for you down each street

and down the halls

stared at the seat you claimed as your own on the first day of school, even from here i could see the small initials you carved into the side of the table.

that was maybe your way of reassuring yourself that you'd always be here. maybe it's the only part of you that always will be.

today at least, it was

i watched the lunch hall door in anticipation hoping when it next opened it would be you who walk in, laugh about how you had simply overslept

i watched your friends, they looked as if they hadn't even noticed your absence. it was no surprise they didn't really noticed you when you were here

i looked over at your regular table, i imagined seeing you glancing back at me. You would never smiled at me when we were at school, but you would always smile once you'd looked back down at the table

you didn't come into school at all today

i tried to justify it, telling myself you were probably just ill or skipping. over and over i repeated it till my thought were just a constant loop of reassurance.

still that wasn't enough to stop the pressure building on my chest and the pit on my stomach growing.

you always said i had mystical psychic intuition

god robin i hope you were wrong.

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