They want me dead. [Dream Angst]

Quick intro

Introduction

Have you ever wondered what it feels to die?
I have asked myself that several times.

My mother used to tell me when I was little kid that when someone died, they would go to a beautiful place, full of joy and peace.

Now I know, that is not true.
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Staring at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts, wondering what happened to me, what happened to us.

I close my eyes to remember the good times, the good old times.

When we were happy, when we were still happy.

But now everything is lost, I lost everything, we lost everything.

I haven't seen the sunlight for a long time, lying on my bed watching the dark void that surrounds me.

It was scary, it was.

I used to think that someone would come to see me, that someone cared about me.
No one did.

Now the only thing that accompanies me is the feeling of guilt, I carry it everywhere.

Maybe if I hadn't done so many stupid things I wouldn't be here, maybe if I had done things differently I wouldn't be here. Maybe only maybe.

I just wanted to protect them, but I disappointed them all. Now i'm all alone, with myself.

I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want to become this, I don't even know who I am now. I don't know myself.

I don't trust myself.
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