Six

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There is a point in many, almost everyone's life where they see the world as a beautiful place. Usually when they're young.

When their minds are pure and haven't been infected and influenced with the poisoned thoughts of the people around them.

We all begin as a clean slate, soon to be guided by our environment.

They notice the small things, which bring contentedness to their souls. They pay attention to the way bees fly from flower to flower. The way butterflies gracefully flap through the air and land amongst the fluorescent green of the plants.

Their minds being so unadulterated. Then as they begin to grow up they start seeing the way the world really is. They see the way people treat other people. They see the way the strong prey on the weak. Then they grow even older, different things in life influencing the way they become. Which is simply just apart of human nature. 

I believe that our upbringings has a big impact on who we end up being in the future.

Except just because someone grew up a certain way doesn't mean it sets up who they are for life.

People learn and they grow.

Some people grow up to be kind. They were raised with good morals. They were taught right from wrong. They were blessed with love in their life.

Others weren't as fortunate. They grew up seeing their drunk father beat their mother. Some were robbed of their innocence at a time when they were too young to even understand what was going on. Some grew up wondering when their next meal was going to be. Others were spoiled with luxury but deprived of the love a child needs in order to truly flourish in life.

My father was the first person who made me realize that the world is an awful place, full of many cruel people. The man who yelled at my mother, siblings, and I in the supermarket when I was in third grade to "go back to our country" was the second person. Many other people followed after that.

Once people grow up and realize that the world is not a place where everyone loves each other and people are given fair oppuritinties, they start stepping on eachother. Everything becomes a competition as to who could be the best.

The truth is, I don't want to be the best. I don't even like competition. For such a long time I've been looking for friends who don't view everything as a race. Throughout the school years I've seen people betray their so called "friends" as if it was nothing. They push each other down to get ahead.

I feel like what has me drawn to Owen is his carelessness, which usually isn't a trait many people are very fond of. He doesn't seem to care about people or being liked by them, he isn't a people pleaser. He sticks to himself and doesn't care about drama. It doesn't take long being around him to notice. I appreciate people like that. They bring a certain level of calmness to me.

I find myself excited to see him as I walk to school today.  I just finished reading The Silent Patient and I'm so excited to tell him about it even though he doesn't give two shits.  Not one, but two.

I hum to the tune of Hey, Soul Sister by Train.  The song reminds me of the fun moments of my childhood.  Seeing the sunsets, counting the small stars in the sky, laying on a hammock with the breeze rocking it back and forth.  The song brings me such a strong feeling of nostalgia, but not the depressing type of nostalgia.  More like the type of nostalgia that warms your insides and makes you look back at the past with a smile on your face rather than a frown.

The school building soon comes into view.

Owen.  Where is your stupidly pretty face.

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