Twenty

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*Owens POV*

Some things in life you'll never forget, no matter how hard you try.

I remember the day as if it was yesterday.

It's become a core memory of mine, replaying in my head a lot.

It comes back to haunt me, making me want to crawl in my bed and hide under the covers, never to come out.

Or I wish I could fall into a deep sleep, and when I crack my eyes open it turned out to just be a bad dream.

Except every time I wake up life solidifies the fact that it wasn't a dream.

Every time I walk past his room a shudder runs through my body.

Who knows, maybe it's his spirit haunting me or some shit.

I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

He always liked scaring the shit out of me. It brought him joy.

My parents don't even bring up his name. I think it hurts them too much to do so.

It's been several years, I get it.  He was their son.

He was my brother, of course it hurts to think about him.

They say time heals.

I guess that statement may be, possibly, somewhat, true.  The pain of losing someone you love will always be there.  Except perhaps over time instead of crying at the thought of them, you smile from the memories you have with them.  I'm not there yet, though.

People deal with grief differently.  Because losing someone, especially someone that you love, isn't easy.

It's currently 6pm.  I'm sitting on the roof outside of my bedroom window, holding a book that I don't even plan to read today.

I'm not even sure why I brought this out here with me.  He gave it to me as a present many years ago.  It's an old Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

I miss him.

I miss my first ever best friend.

His laugh was contagious.  As was his smile.

He liked to annoy the shit out of me.

Except the memory of how I last saw him has poisoned my view of him. Instead of focusing on who he was and our memories together, the first thing that flashes in my brain when I think of him is the way I found him.

I think I'll forever be scarred from that. No sibling should be the one to find their sibling in such a state, or anybody else for that matter.

Looking up from the slides on my feet I admire the sky. The sun is setting, creating a pink and orange hue.

Danny used to love sunsets.

He would drag me onto the roof I'm sitting on right now, and make me watch it with him. I hated it. I just wanted him to leave me alone and let me read and sleep in peace. Except no, he loved making me leave my room. Now that I'm older I appreciate that he did that.

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