dreamglow

18

Cindy

December 9, 2018

A knock on the door pulls me out of the bathroom with my hair damp. It's not even been an hour since Jungkook left and I don't expect anyone to come. I don't even have other guests, besides Jungkook.

With no peep hole to glance through, I swing the door open, and my jaw sweeps the floor. Jungkook is back, this time in tears, with a suitcase and a bag. He sniffles, crying his eyes out. My eyes wide move between his bags and him.

"Do you mind having a roommate?" he asks, voice a pitch-higher. I'm frozen, shock may be an understatement. If this is what I think it is, then it is not anything good.

"God, come in." I take the bags from him as he follows me to the living room. His scent still lingers in the apartment after he spent here the whole day and now he adds into it. He doesn't even stop crying as he takes off his shoes, his jacket, and follows me in like a lost dog.

I leave the bags as they are, and tiptoe so that I can cup his cheek with one palm and dry his tears with another. He looks around like his mind is everywhere but in this room.

"What happened?"

"I told them that I want to sing... and my mom told me to get out," he says, and lets out a bitter chuckle, his eyes bloodshot and puffy. I'm not sure if the path of guilt or anger is better, but I don't have time to ponder as he wraps his arms around me, hides his face in my shoulder and cries harder.

My heart clenches as his whole body shakes in my arms, and I don't even have enough strength to hold him as tightly as he holds me. But I'm trying my best.

"I just want to be happy, Cindy," he says, struggling to find a proper grip around me. Like nothing is close enough. I grit my teeth, his words tightening my throat.

I finally get him to sit on the couch and run for some water. His lips are crisp dry after crying for so long, but he slowly calms down.

"Jungkook..." I say, hesitant, and sit by his side to stroke his shoulder. "Maybe... reconsider..."

"No," he immediately cuts me off, his voice stern. "No, don't say that. I'm not in the wrong for wanting to be happy. If that's how they care about me, I'm fucking glad she kicked me out."

My palm freezes. Up until now I thought it would be worth it, but his mother makes me question myself. "I just... I feel guilty, Jungkook."

He looks at me. "You're not."

"You wouldn't get into music if I didn't push you. They wouldn't kick you out..."

Jungkook straightens his back and hold my palms, making sure I look into his eyes. "Did you hear what you said? I wouldn't get into music if you didn't push me. That's true. And I would never be happy. So suck it up, Cinderella." He pulls a smile on his face and caresses my cheek. I don't know if he's genuinely that quick to feel better, but seeing him in a state like this makes my throat tight again. "You've got yourself the best roommate."

He sits back like nothing happened, and I can't stop my eyes from watering. I don't even know what it is at this point. Do I feel sad for him? Or happy, because he is happy? Or am I mad at his parents? Or maybe I just admire him so much for being so strong despite how terrified he is.

He notices I'm about to burst into tears, and lets out a warm laugh.

"Oh, come on." He pulls me onto his lap, snuggling into my chest. "You're the one who is not supposed to cry."

"Can I, though? Just for a moment," I say as his arms give me warmth. "Seeing you cry made me feel like crying," I add, chuckling.

"Go ahead. It's actually quite nice to cry."