dreamglow

28

Jungkook

April 7, 2019

The red rose in my hand is nothing compared to the things she can make with flowers, but I tell myself it's the intention that matters as I walk to the seventh floor. I can't pull a smile off of my face. Something about officially asking Cindy on a date for the first time makes me more cheerful than I usually am.

I knock on her door, hiding the flower behind my back, but keeping a grin as it is.

"I thought it would be you," she says, smiling.

"Who else could it be?" I chuckle, and lean forward to peck her lips. Never gets boring. "Don't get too comfortable. I came here to ask you something."

"What is that?"

I reveal the rose, and her face softens. With a chuckle that feels like a hug, she looks at me, and I take the opportunity. "Do you wanna go on a date with me?"

"You do realize we are together?" she asks, taking the flower and caressing the petals. I've spent ten minutes watching all the roses in a flower shop to make sure I choose the most flawless one.

"And you do realize I've never asked you out?"

She pulls me in, saying she's not ready anyways. So I wait in the kitchen, on a pre-date with a bowl of purple grapes I found on the counter. One after another, I pop them between my teeth. The apartment is filled with a quiet murmur of a movie playing in the living room, and a low hum of Cindy getting ready in her bedroom. Paired with its warmth, it makes me get lost in my thoughts.

My life is nothing like it used to be, and it never felt as real. All I had before Cindy feels like a fever dream, like something that may have or may have not happened. And if I had a chance to go back, I would burn every bridge behind me. What I thought to be the easiest path, would at some point turn out to be a road I would have to walk with chains at my feet. Only now I can see it. And only now I can see that trying with a possibility of failing is easier on my heart than not trying at all.

Pain of failure is more bearable than pain of regret.

Cindy walks into the kitchen ready when the bowl in my hands is empty. "I literally bought them this morning," she says, and sighs in defeat with her lips pursed, but dissolves into laughter immediately.

From a pair of black shorts and an oversized black t-shit (possibly mine), she is changed into c-through, glimmering tights, white tennis skirt and a black hoodie partially tugged in. It's the second time she's wearing a skirt around me, and if she doesn't do it more often, I'm going to sue her.

"You're beautiful," I say, grinning. She always is, not only dressed up.

Cindy furrows her eyebrows as I pull her against me, and she has to drag her head even higher to look at me. She glances down at my platform shoes and sighs. "I knew you were too tall."

"What? I like them." I snicker, leaning lower for another kiss. The stronger our bond is, the more comfortable I am be so close to her. Considering she's the first one I've ever had genuine feelings for makes it even more magical, more meaningful to me.

"You're doing it on purpose, you giant." She smacks my shoulder, but grabs onto it when our lips meet. In a slow, careful kiss, we're smiling like it's the first one.

"Maybe."

The evening is chilly as we walk down the street, but it doesn't stop Cindy from harassing me to get ice cream. It's a go-to at this point, no matter what we are going out for. The streets are busy, people racing and talking, and we take our time among them. With my arm around her waist, her warmth against mine, we chatter about life, like we haven't spent the entire last week together.