Freefall ✓

21 | beauty

Nobody has ever measured how much the heart can hold

—zelda fitzgerald

▬▬▬ ♫ : ▬▬▬

settle down - gentle bones 

(it gets better in the second half lmao, give it a chance)

▬▬▬ ✦ ▬▬▬

AUDREY

Stepping out of biology at the end of the next school day, I sensed an uneasy and uncustomary weight of collective eyes on me. I threw my hoodie on, slipping through the hold of their stares. It had a cute little cactus patch and the caption that screamed DON'T TOUCH ME for more "baggy cartoon shirts" gossip material they could discuss behind my back later. 

I spotted Syd already waiting for me just opposite, her hair in a half-up ponytail and her Vans backpack already slung over her shoulders. She did a beckoning gesture to draw me nearer. 

"What's up?" I asked as we started strolling towards the main gate. 

"Dude, are you aware that literally half the school is talking about you and Cameron?"

I exhaled a quiet puff of air. "Pfft. Whatever, honestly. We've less than half a year to go with these people."

"No, but they're all positive things. About how cute y'all look together and all. Scarlett's gotta be absolutely pissed though—I heard she fancied him some time ago."

"But that's the thing, Syd— we're not together," I emphasized, somewhat peeved. "Don't they have enough real gossip to discuss that they're inventing it now? "

"Oh, sure. But don't you mind them. As you said, less than half a year," she gave my arm an encouraging nudge.

We'd just set foot on the lawn outside the main school building when I noticed Cameron a fair distance away. He waved at me the moment he saw me too, and I waved back. 

The sort of quiff cut his toffee hair was in had overgrown a tiny bit again. I suddenly felt a strong urge to run my fingers through the slight curls that stuck out and fell in the way, to touch its softness. I wondered if they were as soft as his fingers. And lips. . .

 The closer he got to us, the faster my heart was beating. 

Chill, I wanted to command to it. Why was I getting so nervous around him lately anyway?

Why was it that my eyes looked for him in every crowd? Why was I even thinking about him so much lately? Why—

All at once, my stomach dropped.

I liked him.

I liked him a lot. 

Who on this earth have I been lying to all this time by not admitting it?

I went through a mini mental panic attack. What was I doing? Wasn't that against my own rules? I can't even trust boys, let alone fall for them. What was I getting myself into?

I was about to start stressing over it but all of my thoughts dispersed like dust, all of them were forgotten the instant I met his eyes, a warm glow blooming in them.

"I'll text you, alright?" Syd said as a goodbye, punching my shoulder before she turned to go.

"Yeah. See you later!" I directed my words to the back of her walking head. Then, turned to face Cameron.