Freefall ✓

33 | whole

My heart is so full of you I can hardly call it my own

—liana radulescu

▬▬▬ ♫ : ▬▬▬

Hold On - Chord Overstreet (heard from restaurant)

Can We Kiss Forever? - Kina ft. Adriana Proenza

▬▬▬ ✦ ▬▬▬

AUDREY

When Cameron first told me — in that smoothie cafe — that we went to the same middle school for one year, something just didn't seem to click in my mind.

Maybe it was the unexpected easiness of the discovery. When I'd caught the first glimpse of those hazel eyes, their familiarity mystified me so much, that I'd apparently made myself believe their enigma concealed something way bigger. Something dramatic. 

I'd struggled to accept how simpler the reality was, compared to the silly histrionic plot of my imagination.

And that had forever been my problem. I've always been overreacting to things in my life, overthinking every little triviality, blowing insignificant matters to the size of an elephant in my mind.

If it'd realized sooner how much in our life depends solely on our perception of it, I wouldn't have hurt myself in so many ways. And not only myself, but the people around me. Especially, that one boy whom my heart ached for so incredibly much right now.

I swung myself a trifle on the swing, as I waited for him. I'd messaged him to meet me here a while ago. He'd read the message but hadn't replied. 

I was left to wonder, lingering between hope and despair. It seemed like the line that separated those two was that line that went across the equilibrium point of the swing — the point towards which the swing dropped when it lost momentum. And that, hence, I was repeatedly swinging from one to another. 

Hope to despair. Despair to hope.

Would he come or would he not?

The salty air rushed past my cheeks, the flavor of the ocean within it as profound as its depths. 

My eyes settled on the zipline that Cameron had once told me was his favorite as a kid. I slowed my swinging down and became conscious of the music playing from the restaurant that stood on the other side of the road.

Judging by the time of year and the unfriendly overcast weather, the place had to be as empty as the feeling inside of me. My ears held on to the notes that fell from the song.

Loving and fighting, accusing, denying
I can't imagine a world with you gone

I was resting the side of my head against the cold, metallic swing chain as the wind whistled and an obscure dreaminess crawled up my spine. Through it, I hadn't noticed the boy that had walked up to me.

"Princesa." My breath hitched. His voice was a blanket that wrapped around and shielded me from the frosty weather of the day. I turned around. 

I'd never missed something as much as I'd missed the intimacy of our eye contact. The wondrous hue of hazel in his eyes looked softer than ever, yet it was burning. It was burning softly.

I stood up. 

The small distance between us was a chasm.

His hands held out something. I tore my gaze away from his mesmerizing eyes and looked down. He was holding the pair of my silver-pink ballroom shoes.