Silvertroll

The Yellow-vest Man

Why am I not surprised?

It is a crapshoot really, picking a seat on the train. You can only do your best. Even before the train comes to a halt, you spy through the windows to see if any seats are empty, which helps in making a decision before those sliding doors open. A wrong choice could prove critical. Whether you hit the upper or lower deck, choose wrong and you're stuck with a symphony of conversations the entire trip. Or the company of vomit smell. Or some drunk who had nothing else to do than get something off their chest.

Well, this drunk just decided it is good form picking on an old woman sitting opposite her, minding her own business. The old lady doesn't take it well and starts to issue a barrage of insults at the drunk woman.

Just as it is getting interesting my phone dings.

A message.

FROM: SILVERTROLL TO: CAVEMAN RE: DEEP FRIED LAPTOP.

Dear Caveman, due to your obvious lack of intellect, I decided to melt your machine and spare the internet from your retardness. Regards. Silvertroll.

I think about my response. I figure I need to keep this shithead engaged long enough for me to fish information from him. I fantasize about tracking him down and grabbing him by the ears. I would yell and shake that frigging skull of... his. Hopefully, it's a he. I could not imagine what I would do if it were some sad female doing this.

What if it were a fat pubescent boy?

Regardless. When they meet my rage, they will regret ever being born.

I thumb my reply.

I appreciate you admitting to what you did. But you crossed the line when you infected my laptop with whatever that was and caused it to overheat and malfunction. You can't go doing that, it's called destruction of property. So you are now liable for this damage, and I will be pressing charges against you. I am going to the police, so you'll be hearing from them, soon. Regards. Caveman.

I look around me, the train carriage is empty.

Beep. Beep.

A new message.

FROM: SILVERTROLL TO: CAVEMAN RE: RE: DEEP FRIED LAPTOP.

Hello Nathan, Thank you for your reply. You have just proved, yet again what kind of retard you are. While I accept you have the right to live in complete stupidity, sometimes an idiot has to be shown that they are what they are. A dumb-ass. In your instance an absolute dumb-ass. The government should certify dumb-asses like you if they were serious about fixing the economy.

I look up and check the carriage. I spot the Yellow-vest Man seated a few seats away, alone, facing me, and asleep.

I read on.

This certification would declare retards like you incompetent and ban you from using technology altogether. Think of all the wastage this action would curb. No more suckers losing their money. No more internet broken by idiots clogging up the bandwidth with garbage.

I am unconvinced however about your threat to go to the police. I fail to comprehend why even a retard like you would expect the police would waste their time on a trivial brain fart such as this.

I was faced with a situation a few months back. Someone parked across my driveway and began washing their car. I rang up the police and told them, there's a guy in my driveway washing his car. They said that they could come down and fine him, and since it was blocking emergency vehicle access to the property they could also have it towed away.