Journal of a Rose

Halcandra

[A series of uneventful entries pass, though one does mention magically boiling an egg... No matter! This date is marked... a little oddly. Clean date, but rather than a gold star it's a smudged rose symbol that was the only decor here. Next to it is another boxed in date with a matching timestamp: 3:29 AM. Aside from those, several ink and what look to be tear stains dot the page, making it slightly brittle to the touch.]

...

It took me a day to finally write this. I dunno if it was a weak will or what that was holding me back, but something felt... wrong about letting myself write this immediately after what happened. Which is... a lot to cover, not gonna lie.

...

Where to start? Kairos and M'anah are gone, new additions were made to the memorial in the garden, morality is low, and I have a raging migraine from the lack of sleep I just got. That's the summary, really, and I wish I could leave it there. Maybe go back to bed and let myself mourn in the morning. But, unfortunately, Irene is insisting I write everything out in case it "helps someone in the future," so here goes the heartwrenching retelling of the wilting of two Roses.

...

So, the morning started out like a typical day does. Lots of shouting in the dorm hallway, which I can't deny is a very common occurrence around here at this point, but something was off about it this time. Kairos was yelling at "Amira," most likely about all the shit she was hiding, but don't quote me on that. Luckily, I wasn't the only one out rubbernecking the situation, almost half of the Army was in the hall watching as all hell broke loose. Ribbons, mirror dimension, blah blah... It's all complicated, but the gist of it was that Kairos and M'anah got yanked, and most of us were sprung into an impromptu rescue mission without so much as a HINT as to what was happening. Sounds reasonable for a group full of secrets, right? Just wait.

...

We arrived in a field of blue flowers, which sounds pleasant compared to the nightmare that follows. The entire world was practically drowned in light, it almost burned just being there. Is "burned" the right way to put it? It certainly didn't feel cleansing, in fact the strong amounts of light made me want to vomit a few times. Might just be [a splotch of ink blocks this segment out] For a time we were able to get our bearings until these... weird looking Heartless trapped us all in a cage dome? I'd mention the stupid things that went on here, but it's not worth it. We got our asses saved by locals Caius and Ethel, who guided us out of this first mess surprisingly willingly.

...

We found ourselves in a ruined cathedral in a decaying city. Don't tell Caelum, but I snagged some stray glass from the shattered windows there. If I don't sleep tonight, I might use the rest of my time to make the glass into a rose like Tobias had taught me. An undying ornament for the memorial, y'know? ... Though now that I think about it, it won't be an ornament for the three, but for who I'm actually mourning. Does that make me heartless? Not that anyone would know, sure, but maybe they could tell it's not genuine...

...

Anyway, we had time to recuperate there. Ethel gave us a history summary, and let me tell ya it was loaded with confusing bits. Multiple Amira Replicas? I haven't even seen a working Replica from home, let alone one that could blend in as well as that imposter had... Makes me think if I had missed something I never saw before. But enough of that existential crisis.

...

We met two of the Amira models Ethel had mentioned, Milyne and Miryne. They seemed... nice? At least at first, not in a bad way by any stretch. They gave Caelum a fancy Keyblade to keep a hold of for the time being, and with that hand off we got ambushed by Imperials, or as is the running theme here more failed Replicas, this time M'anah. It hurt a lot having to kick their asses, both metaphorically and literally. Not to mention that second dome, the loss of Ethel, and more useless running. Yeah, you read that right. Ethel sacrificed herself defending us from "Amira," adding another tally to the long list of losses I have to process.

...

So, we were led to a forest by Caius and hid there for a bit until the Imperials dipped. A forest spirit poked a bit of fun, gave us some warnings... Standard stuff at this point. Then we were on the road again, on our way to the main event: that Seersforsaken tower. "Amira" ambushed us at the entrance, but Caelum took care of her right quick. He even shattered the bridge we had to cross in the process, though thank the Seers we didn't have to return that way.

...

The trip up the tower was quick due to some... unconventional means, but we were punctual for once. Not that we never are, simply all of us were in the same quick pace mindset- Anyway, no fun and games could prepare us for the horrors that follow. Beyond the doors at the top we all had to watch as two of our own were turned into... one whole? But that whole was also housing a "false god," which felt awfully familiar in the moment. We had to FIGHT this thing, and it made me start thinking... Is this something I can become? Is this what I will become? Could that have been me standing there letting my allies pummel me to death? I worry about it often, yet this time in particular shook me. I hope it never comes down to this, for all our sakes.

...

Ah, I went off on another tangent. Not like there's much else to add. We almost died at the hands of this "god," were saved by strange new faces I didn't care to remember, and finally got to leave empty handed. What was it all worth? At least keeping the memories we had, maybe giving someone back the life they lost while split in two? Or maybe it was all for nothing? It's complicated to process.

...

Anybody with deeper friendships with those two lost boys may not feel the same, but at this point I've mourned for them all that I could. My connection to them was never strong, so I feel as if I have no right to reminisce what once was. Instead, the most I do is sympathize with those hit hardest. It's all I can do. The more I think of the losses we just suffered, I can only think of them as what they're really not... Kairos reminded me an awful lot of Mandorian, and M'anah? A little bit of Tobias. Maybe that's why I avoided them, maybe deep down I had a gut feeling I'd only suffer heartbreak with them... HA. I doubt it. Nah, there's no way I could forsee that even with Igni taking a backseat in my heart. This is purely bad luck.

...

I should make that rose now. At least with the sun starting to rise there's decent lighting in here. Plus, Irene stopped pestering me, so I've done my job.

...

Actually, sleep's calling. I'll see what's in store later.