LOUD//Marcus Abbott

New Normal

Day 472

"All I want to do is put this bad boy and drive and zoom through this place running over all of the dumb ugly ass bitches!" I sign to Markus. He laughs and puts his hands on the wheel of the pickup truck and pretends to drive. I put on some sunglasses and kick my feet up on the dash. I pretend the wind is blowing through my hair and I'm somewhere else and not in this shitty world. "Where you taking me?" I ask Marcus who laughs and signs back "the beach" I smile and then Marcus looks in the rear view mirror and sees Lee. He carefully hops out of the car. I climb over the seat and also carefully and quietly jump out of the car. We both walk past Lee and down onto the sandy road. 

We walk towards the house and through the inside. We carefully go down the steps and into the new Abbott nursery. When Evelyn had told me about the new baby I was excited and upset. I couldn't understand why the two would think this is a good idea and why they weren't doing what they needed to do to not let this happen. I was excited though because I never had a sibling and now I was apart of the family so it was like I was also getting a new sibling. 

I grab some of the newspaper and start attaching it to the wall. Lee told us we needed to soundproof the nursery. I understood this and immediately got to work helping out with soundproofing everything. Whenever I get into this soundproofing stuff and it gets quiet like it always is. I tend to get lost in my thoughts. Your thoughts are the only thing you don't have to keep quiet now and so I'm constantly swarmed with them. I think back to before all of this and seeing my mom everyday. I miss my dad everyday. 

Flashback 

"We need to check Lee" Evelyn signs to Lee who was very hesitant to go off the grid where he didn't know if it was safe. "Fine very quickly though." Lee signs back. He holds Beau in his arms. It had been a month since everything went down. I still had no clue if my father was still alive. We carefully walked through the neighborhood I once lived in. The houses were bare and empty. The cars in the street were scratched up. Dried blood was all over the houses and I had to look away at the dead bodies in the street. The worse was seeing the little children dead. They were all so innocent and scared. I had seen one that still had a fearful look on his face and then quickly turned away disgusted. 

My house came into view and I sighed. It looked empty and untouched. It look as though someone could possibly be living there still. Lee walked onto the porch and a slight creek emerged from the wood. Everyone stopped and looked at one another. They stopped to listen but there was nothing. Lee then opened the front door which was surprisingly unlocked. I stepped into my old home. Nothing had been touched inside my shoes that I had once worn were still on the carpet beside the door. The laundry basket my father had asked me to take down from his room still sat on the kitchen table. 

I walked up the steps and into my purple room. I looked around and everything was once again untouched. I walked out and to my fathers door. I couldn't help but smell something in the air. A odor was there and I prayed it wasn't my father. Lee who was in front of me twisted the door knob. Marcus held my hand and Evelyn put her hand on my shoulder. Lee opened the door and there my father was. He was hanging from the ceiling fan. I could barely contain my sobs. I tried to hold it all in but it was extremely hard. The Abbott family tears in their own eyes. Lee walked in and looked at the bedside table. He picked up a note. He handed It to me and I took a deep breath. 

Dear Auggie,

I'm sorry for everything. This will be hard to fathom and see. I want you to know that I love you and to not feel any guilt you did none of this. You kept me going. I need you to keep going after I'm completely gone. This is a hard time but mom and I will be helping you on your journey through life. Live it don't settle and stay out of trouble. I love you and happy 14th birthday. 

End of Flashback 

"Dinner has been served" I sign going to take a bite but I'm stopped by Regan. I roll my eyes and grab Marcus and Lee's hands. We pray together quietly. We all finish and then eat the food. I can't say I don't want to pray. People always fall back on that religion stuff so it's gotta work somehow. You always hear about Jesus making all these miracles happen in the Bible but damn he sure does know how to make disasters just as well. 

I use to hate the sound of people chewing and swallowing loudly but now I love it. Sometimes you forget about sound completely and so its refreshing to hear something from someone. 

I miss every sound nowadays even the ones I hated.