Fading into time

chapter 10

The cool currents brushed tenderly along the underside of my wings, flitted quickly across my cheeks as I basked in the feeling of simply soaring in the sky. Although I didn't particularly like the wings, because of what they implied and the suffering it took to acquire them, I liked what they gave me apart from the nightmares and phantom whispers.

They gave me freedom.

To fly. To do things no human in this world could. To escape from what I didn't want to see or hear or do.

I was free up here, in the sky. It was like I was a king, and this vast expanse of blue and white was the place I was destined to rule. Because up here, it was like anything could come true. No matter how impossible or daunting it seemed.

The sky was the only place I sought comfort from, and found solace in. It had always been that place that would never be taken away from me, so much so that the sky had somehow evolved into a kind of parental figure. One that guided me along, and loved me as much as I loved it.

Funny what loneliness could do to a person, right?

The ground seemed miles away from my vantage point in the heavens, away from the hot dusty air of the cities and roads. It was just a patch of green there, and then the metallic greys and silvers of buildings, and the rapid spots of browns, whites, blacks of cars on roads. Nothing more than tiny little dots if you squinted hard enough. I wouldn't be able to see Sophie's car from up here, but she had given me the address of the hotel she was to be staying at. We would reconvene at night at a little garden within hotel premises since Sophie wouldn't be able to leave without arousing suspicion. Her cousin had come earlier than arranged, and then it had been a mad scrambling of hands and feet and clothes everywhere, and everyone was good to go by late afternoon since Sophie's cousin wasn't a big fan of driving at night.

As long as I stayed high enough, didn't veer too close to the main streets, I was pretty confident I wouldn't be seen.

But geez, the hours and days of talking with Sophie left me now lonely up in the air, with no one to converse or banter with. I hadn't realised how 'alone' I had felt since Barry's passing, and now that Sophie had, by some goddamn miracle, entered my life like a godsend, I felt more whole than I had been in years.

But that also meant that now, I actually had something to lose.

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"What are you looking at?"

"Hm?" I snapped out of my stupor, catching sight of my cousin's lazy grin from the rear view mirror. I had been staring up at the sky since we piled into the car. I knew it wasn't very logical to think that I would even be able to steal a glimpse of Kygo from down here, yet that somehow didn't stop me from hoping that I could.

"A penny for your thoughts?" My cousin prompted, and I realised I had sunk into my thoughts again. My aunt and uncle were asleep in the seats next to me, and I smiled at the adorable image before turning my attention back to the driver's seat. "Nothing. Just, uh, looking at the scenery."

"Since when do you do that?"

"Since now."

My cousin snorted and turned her eyes back to the wheel and the road that stretched ahead for miles. She said nothing more, save for the slight smile that played across her lips. Thank god.

This time, when my gaze drifted out of the windows, I focused on the grass and cars that whizzed by instead of the blues and whites that seemed to beckon from above. Come to think of it, Kygo had slipped rather seamlessly into my life. I couldn't really fathom what it was like before he crashed through my open window. Now, when I got home from school, I had someone to talk to in my room, someone to laugh with, someone to form plans with. Yep, I was still holed up in my room on a daily basis like the hermit crab I was, but it had come to be different recently.