Survival Journey 18+

NeIL- tHe LoVeR

¶ Aiyla PoV¶

Let
everything
happen
Naturally.

Never
Force it.
¶¶¶¶¶¶¶

Neil proposed to me three months ago, but I have been ignoring him.

He kept asking for my response, but I kept avoiding giving one. On top of that, he's been telling everyone that I'm his girlfriend, and whenever I try to correct him, he just shrugs his shoulders, which is driving me insane.
No one believes me, when I say I'm not his girlfriend.

I've been going to the cafe less and less since that proposal, and I don't want to give him any more false optimism.

Anna assumed something had happened between me and Neil based on my behavior. She and Rishi continued to bug me with twisted inquiries that were frustrating at times.
I had had enough and informed them what had happened between me and Neil.

She was taken aback at first and became enraged, asking how I could keep something like this from her. We had planned to be buddies. Remember how angry you were when I kept Rishi hidden from you?

You followed suit now!

So that's why you're hiding now, Anna said. Is It? Look, hiding is not a solution to your problem; confronting it is the correct thing to do. Even Apurva uncle is disappointed that you have stopped coming to the cafe.

Face reality. I know you adore Ronin, but he will not return to your life. Truth is painful, and I understand that my words may sting you, but you must accept it and go on.
Don't allow your history to hold you back; Neil could be the right fit for you. Perhaps he will make you happy, so be receptive to his proposition and give him a chance.

Her comments struck me hard and hurt me, but he will not enter your life. That was the word that had the most impact on me.

My eyes welled up with tears as I sniffed my cries. I didn't want my father or witch to hear or see me cry.

My father would ask a thousand questions if he heard my scream, and I would be unable to respond.

I was devastated. All these years, I've been missing Ronin and begging to God for him to return to my life.

Will he ever enter my life again? Every day, that is the one question that comes to mind.

Anna's words were hurtful, but they were the truth. I believe I must now embrace the facts and give myself another chance.

With a sigh, I told myself to simply go with the flow and see where it takes me.
unsure whether this decision will be correct or incorrect?

Just hoping I won't be sorry.

I considered taking some more time to consider this thoroughly. I'm not sure if I should trust Neil after what happened with Ronin; my head was a jumble, just like my life.

My life has gotten a lot worse since Ronin and my grandfather departed. I haven't spent a relaxing day at home in months, and the place no longer seems like home. All I wanted was to finish college and get out of this hellhole!

Why can't I have a regular joyful life for once? Why does everything seem to revolve around me? As if I didn't have enough on my plate already, I now had to deal with Neil's issue as well.

Fuck my life!
××××××××××××××××××××
2 months after

Today will be the day.

I'm going to answer Neil because I've been following him for the past five months. How he has been so kind to me, admiring me, and lavishing me with love.

His eyes are filled with love for me. But I'm still unsure about my decision and am second-guessing myself. My thoughts keep returning to bothersome emotions. I constantly doubting whether or not I love him, but the answer is always yes! as a friend.

There's no way out now. Now can I?

I'm getting panic attacks and cold feet! Because of my anxiety, my heart is racing so fast.

Oh god! Am I making the right decision? should I run away?

What the hell, iLa! My inner voice told me to calm down. I was fighting with both my good and terrible selves.

I was having an internal conflict the more I thought about it.

So I closed my eyes and relaxed my nerves a little to calm myself down.

Neil, who sat in front of me, had been watching me like a predator, and I was his prey!

I closed my eyes and told myself that whatever happened, I would leave it to the time and say yes to him!

So, here we go.

Yes! I'm going to be your girlfriend!