Requested by Leeeciiiii
I sat on the couch of my boyfriends house. He was currently out with his friends and his little brother was with his girlfriend. So I was alone. Being alone wasn't a big deal with me until it was. I suffer with anxiety and being alone doesn't really help with that. I always found myself trying to keep busy when I was alone but it never worked.
That was until I started singing. I don't know how or why singing helps with my anxiety but I'm glad that it does. And I'm glad that I found out that it does. It didn't matter what I was singing, it just matter that I sung. And over time my singing has improved and I'm happy that it does but if someone were to ask me to sing to them or to sing infl front of people I wouldn't be able to.
Lately my anxiety hasn't been so bad like it used to. But that's only because Oscar was with me all the time. And if he wasn't with me his bestfriend Antonio was with me. But tonight no one was here with me. Which I thought was fine but now its not. My breathing started picking up and my heart rate increased.
I quickly grabbed my phone and headphones, putting them on and shuffling my playlist, instantly smiling when 'No One' by Alicia Keys comes on. I stuffed my phone in my back pocket walking over to the fridge to grab a water as I sang. Using the water bottle as a microphone. I sang my heart out considering 'No one' was mine and Oscars song.
The music was loud. Maybe a little too loud. I couldn't hear the world. All i heard was Alicia Keys's voice and the best to the song. I couldn't even hear my own voice singing. Which is probably bad because someone could just walk right in and kill me. But hey! At least I was doing something I loved before I died right?
I turned around singing into the water bottle with my eyes shut. Once i opened them I saw Oscar leaning on the wall with a smile scaring me. "W-when did you get back?" I asked as I took out my headphones. "A while ago" he confessed walking up to me. "So you saw everything?" I asked slightly shy. "Yeah i guess you can say that" he smiled down at me. "Oh" I whispered.
"You're a good singer" he spoke up filling the silence. I nodded getting out my phone and turning the music off. "I guess you can say that," I said walking over to the couch, sitting down. "You are. This is my first time hearing you sing and I'm shocked" he chuckled sitting down next to me. "You should sing for me" he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer to him.
"What? No I can't" I shook my head playing with the wire of the headphones. "Why not? You were singing perfectly to our song" I gave him a small smile. "I only sing when im alone or when my anxiety is bad" his face softened quickly grabbing my hand. "So why were you singing now?" He asked making me look at him. "My anxiety"
Oscar knows that I have anxiety. He knew since before we got together. But he didn't know how severe it can be at times. And part of that is my fault because I never told him. I should have and I told myself I should but I never did. I guess now I am.
"How bad does it get?" He asked pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Sometimes it gets really bad but other times it's enough for me to handle" he let out a deep sigh. "And singing helps?" I responded with a nod. "So why don't you want to sing to me?" He smirked. "Well you don't sing to me. Why should I sing to you" I crossed my arms over my chest and rose a brow.
"Ok fine. If I sing to you you have to sing to me. Deal?" I chuckled lightly. "Fine we got a deal" I sighed. "Sing for me then" I smirked laying down on the couch throwing my feet on his lap. "Ok what song?". "All of me by John Legend" he let out a chuckle before he started singing.
