I woke up needing to pee. Again. For the fifth time tonight. I saw it was already gonna be 6 so I decided to start getting ready for school. I took a quick shower washing my hair and body. It sucked being pregnant with no one to go to. I mean I have my mom and my best friend. But it's different when you don't have your baby daddy helping you.
I got dressed in my black maternity leggings and my pink long sleeve ripped sweater. I grabbed no show socks and vans and struggled to get them on. "Need help?" I looked up seeing my mom. I laughed and nodded. "Yes please". She nodded and helped me put them on. "Oscar wrote you again" I sighed frustrated already.
Oscar was my boyfriend. He stopped talking to me a week before he went to jail. I had ended the relationship a day before. And of course, Oscar was of course my baby daddy. But he doesn't know. And I'm scared to tell him. I don't know how he'll react so that's why I haven't written him back.
"Let's go get breakfast" she smiled and stood up. I nodded and followed her out. I made sure to grab my phone and keys. We both got in the car and she drove to Starbucks. I couldn't get anything with so much caffeine so I just got an Iced Passion Tango Tea mixed with lemonade and a sausage and egg sandwich. My mom got her usual. Pink drink with cake pops.
"Ok, I'll see you later. Bye mom" I smiled getting out with my drink and food in my hands. I also had Oscars' letter in my hand. I held on to them. I never read them though. "Hey baby mama" my best friend, Layla, smiled as I walked into the school. "So how do you like the cold little one" she rubbed my belly. "I hate it" I laughed. "Girl me either. But why didn't you bring a jacket jacket?" She questioned. I opened my locker taking my hoodie out. "I have it with me. I forgot it yesterday" I laughed putting it on.
The bell rung and we headed our separate ways. Today we were having a 'special' guest and the whole school had to go to the gym after first period. But obviously, I couldn't go since I was due in a couple of weeks and it'd be too dangerous for baby Mae.
When me and Oscar where together we would always joke about having a kid and what the names would be. And we had chosen Ava Mae for a girl. And well it stuck with me. I was so excited when I found out I was having a girl but at the same time, I was sad because Oscar wasn't here. But this is life. I'm still mad that he hadn't talked to me that whole week. He acted like I didn't exist. And it hurt me. But I'm not really thinking about that.
"You seem lost in the clouds" I looked up at my favorite teacher, Mrs. Garza, and gave her a warm smile. "I guess I am" I chuckled. The bell rang and everyone left for the gym. "Don't you have to go?" I asked. "Someone has to be here with you" she smiled. "So what's going on?" I sighed playing with the envelope from Oscars' letter. "I've been thinking about the letters" I continued playing with it. "Just read them" she smiled again walking back to her desk. "I gotta grade these tests. So ill leave you to the letters" I nodded and grabbed my bag taking out the other letters. Yes, I kept them in my bag.
I opened the first letter I ever got and instantly got nervous. I unfolded it and began reading.
Dear y/n,
Listen. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. And I know you probably don't wanna talk since I hadn't talked to you that week but I just want you to know that I still love you. That hasn't stopped. I wish I could be there with you and explain everything face to face but unfortunately, I can't. And that sucks I know. This is just a one-time thing. Once I'm back ill make it up to you. I'll take you to that place you always bugged me about. You know the one where they cook in front of you. You always wanted to go there but I was always busy with the gang and I never paid attention to you. And I promise that will change. But why didn't you leave me sooner? I really never paid attention to you. And you were always alone. You honestly could've had those jocks but you chose me. Why? I'm ranting. Sorry. Anyway. Please write back. I'd understand if you don't. Not pressuring you to do anything. I love you.
Yours truly,
Oscar
I chuckled. I always thought he never listened to me about that place. I'm surprised he remembered though. He forgets everything. It's funny. But the one thing I love about Oscar was that if I was uncomfortable with doing something he would stop it. He wouldn't do anything to make me more uncomfortable. He wouldn't pressure me to do anything.
"You have 40 minuted left to read two or three more" Mrs. Garza smiled at me. I laughed and opened the second letter and began reading.
Dear y/n,
Hey. I'm guessing you didn't want to write me since I didn't get a letter but that's not gonna stop me from writing you. I'm not even sure if you're reading these either. I guess I may never know until I get out. But um, im doing good. I've been behaving so hopefully I can get out early for my behavior. Who knows. It's only been a couple of weeks though. But still hoping and praying I get out early. I really do miss you. And I hate the way we ended. I really just want to fix things. If you want to. It's totally up to you. Again im not gonna pressure you. But it would be nice to have a fresh start. I made sure Antonio looked out for you. I don't want anything happening to mi reina. Hope it's ok I still call you that.. I'll write you next month. Guys in here are fucked up and won't let you send out mail for at least a month. I love you.
Yours truly,
Oscar
I smiled tearing up and opened another.
Dear y/n,
So I've been having these dreams. And at first, I wasn't paying attention to them but it's the same dream over and over. It's weird. I keep dreaming about a baby. Me and you having a kid. Can you believe that? It sounds insane. I mean it's not impossible but it's insane. My life wouldn't be good for a kid. It's not good for anyone actually. But starting a family doesn't sound too bad. Maybe it'll open my eyes. And I kept thinking. If I were to ever start a family. I would want to start one with you. You're the best with kids. And I would love to see what our daughter or son would look like. I'm pretty sure they will catch my genes. Nah hopefully they don't. Hopefully, they won't get our stubbornness. Because that would be bad. But let's just snap back into reality. How are you? I know you won't write back since you haven't written me since I got in here. But if you do I wanna know. How are you? I meant what I said Y/n. I still love you. I always will and always have. I just want you to know. But I gotta go. Duty calls. I'll write you next month
Yours truly,
Oscar
Tears fell. I should've written him back. Ugh, why do I gotta be so stubborn? My thoughts were cut off by the intercom. I headed to my fourth period since the thing took up both second and third period.
