Speak For Me - [H.S.]

Chapter 24

(A/N: It's a bit of a filler but it's needed and I actually like this chapter. (: hope you do too! Also, this is my last week in public school so nice length and more frequent updates will be back soon! Enjoy!)

Niall's POV:

The plane ride was quiet. Just like last night and this morning. Few words were exchanged between all of us as a group and the air was just full of tension.

Next to being quiet the plane ride was also very awkward. Not normal with all of us facing each other and having a laugh. Though this time, laughter was completely out of the picture.

We all sat facing forward and spread out. Harry sat all alone towards the back just starring out the window. He hasn't said one word since he talked to Carrie. It was obvious that Bailey's words hit him hard... 

Well and I guess the slap did too.

Speaking of them, I already missed Carrie. It was terrible that I had only had her as a girlfriend for not even a day before we had to leave. But besides the fact that we're on different sides of the earth, we'll still try to make it work.

Thank you to whoever invented Skype.

"Niall, mate."

My head turned to my right where Louis was sitting all bundled up in a white blanket. Before answering I reached over and pulled some to cover myself. This earning small grins from Liam and Zayn who were watching across the plane.

"Ya, Lou?" I asked after I got situated.

"Uhm... I was just wondering if you've spoken to Carrie today. You know, before we got on the plane? And if she's said anything about how...uh...Bailey is doing."

I opened my mouth but a harsh snap came from behind all of us.

"Shut it, Louis. Niall you too."

I gulped and nodded to Harry, who's attention had already turned back to the window.

Louis gave me a look and I nodded my head no. Carrie said that nothing has changed. She hasn't left her room. I'll just tell Louis that later though.

"I was just saying, Haz..." Louis softly mumbled under his breath.

"I don't care," he snapped at us while sending us an intense glare.

Louis frowned and sighed before turning his attention out the window. 

I mimicked his face with a frown of my own and leaned back in my seat.

Looks like old grumpy Harry was back...

_____________

Bailey's POV:

*****

"Sara... What do you do when you miss somebody?"

Sara turned her head and her frizzy brown hair whipped across her face. She spit out a strand that was caught in her mouth before she looked at me questionably.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

I shrugged and laid down on the park bench. I rested my head in her lap and calmed as I felt her hands start to play with my hair.

"Well," I started, "Just that. What do you do when you miss them?"

I glanced up and could see Sara purse her lips. 

"Miss them how though? Like you miss somebody who is far away or somebody who's dead?"

I attempted to shrug from my spot but it didn't work that well. 

"I dunno. Either one I guess."

She didn't talk at first and all I heard was the wind and the leaves tumbling down the pathway in the park.

Sara tapped my shoulder soon though and I pulled myself back up. We still were sitting but now I just rested my head on her shoulder.

"I guess it's different for each one. If the person is just far away and you miss them, like you can't wait to see them, it's easier to deal with. You'll eventually see them and soon you will be together. Everything you felt while they were away doesn't matter anymore because they're there now. Though, time apart may draw you closer, but it could possibly pull you apart. It all depends on the people."

I nodded against her shoulder. 

"But what if it's the other one?"

Sara sighed and wrapped her arms around my small torso. A motherly gesture, but even though she's my sister, I love the feeling.

"That's a bit hard. It hurts when somebody dies. Death is never fair and even if its expected, it will hurt. Each person deals with it differently though. While some may grieve only for a small amount of time, perhaps days, other may suffer for months or maybe years. A death can take over someone's life. Some even loose theirs because of it."

"Loose it as in... It gets taken from them?" I asked softly.

Sara shook her head no. Her hair again flying back in forth.

"Not particularly. It could be because some one did. Though most of the time it's because their life has just fallen to nothing and they give up."

My mouth formed a small 'O.'

"But Bailey you need to promise me."

I pulled my head back and looked at her. 

"Promise what?"

"That you'll never let someone's death take over your life. That you'll never let it take your life. No matter of its my death far in the future or an unexpected death in only a few months. Okay?"

I nodded, "I promise, Sara."

She softly smiled at me and leaned forward to press a kiss on my forehead. I relaxed as I felt it and engulfed her in a hug.

"Thank you, Bailey," she whispered but didn't pull away from me as we just sat there.

****

I laid in the dark of my room. My back laying against my bed and arms folded over my eyes.

The memories came so often now and with each one they felt more and more vivid. It's more like I'm watching a movie from great seats rather than having flashbacks to something I lived.

I shivered, though it wasn't cold in my room. It was simply out of the weird feeling I always get in times like these.

I've made a lot of promises to my sister, but it seems if I haven't even been able to keep one.

I'm a disappointment to her.

I did exactly what I said I wouldn't. I let her death and my father's take over my life. It almost took my life when I was younger...

I rubbed my eyes with my hands before propping myself up. My eyes were long adjusted to the darkness since I've been locked away in here since I slapped Harry and walked off...

If I could I would groan as I fell over and held my head in my hands. I didn't need memories with Harry now either. I could let him help take over my life also.

I leaned over and pulled out the bottles from my drawer. I wasn't proud of them but I needed them right now.

I took off all the caps and poured out the required pills. Again, without water, I swallowed all of them. Now disappointed even more in myself, I placed the pill bottles back in their spot and shut the drawer. I rolled over to where I was laying and returned to my position.

And very soon I returned to my world of darkness...