I'll Share With You My Heartbeat

nineteen

Kieran had never been on a date before, and this wasn't even a date.

He found himself fixing his clothes, tugging at the cuffs of his khaki pants, and running his fingers excessively through his dark hair. The ravenhead looked around, desperate for a mirror or glass reflection of a store window to look at.

"What's with the nerves?" Autumn teased, head falling back against the park bench. The prelude of a full sunset adorned half their face, sunlight dancing off their multitude of rings and making their umber skin glow. "Is this about that boy you invited with you?"

"I'm acting like a teenager," Kieran grumbled, turning around to face his friend, "And that says a lot cause I don't even remember how I was like as a teenager."

Their brows knitted. "Is this just an invitation or a date?" they inquired.

"An invitation but— I don't know. I called him a friend. He called me a friend. I don't know. Do you disapprove?"

Autumn shook their head and stood up from the bench, fishing out a hand-held mirror from their backpack. "You already explained why you needed to go to this smaller theater— to get used to how it feels." They handed the mirror to Kieran. "It's one step closer to obtaining your ticket. Of course I'm all for it."

Oh right. His afterlife ticket. He didn't even think of that. Lennon had hogged up every bit of space in his mind now.

The ravenhead looked down at the mirror and found a boy who had lost all direction staring back at him.

"Kieran," Autumn continued, placing a hand on his shoulder so he would meet their eyes, "I don't want you to misunderstand me. I don't care who you hang out with— as long as it's for the sake of finding your afterlife ticket and not flirting." They raised a finger at the last word for emphasis. "Just please keep in mind two things."

Kieran nodded automatically.

"One— the more time you spend with him, the more of an attachment you'll form. I get that you need him for the sake of finding your ticket. But don't get distracted."

The ravenhead took a deep breath. Don't get distracted has already been quite the problem.

"And two— I'm saying this for his sake. What's his name again? Lennon?"

"Lennon," Kieran echoed.

"Lennon is human," Autumn said, reaching up and parting Kieran's hair properly to fix up his appearance for him. "And I'm not saying this to create a divide. I'm saying this because he is alive and he has a life and goals and dreams and purposes that he still needs to live out. I understand that he chose to come with you. But still. Don't take too much time out of his hands." They adjusted the mirror in Kieran's hand so he could see his own reflection. "What do you think?"

Kieran wasn't sure if Autumn wanted his opinion on the lecture they just gave him or the way they tidied his hair. "Good," he decided to say, waving the mirror in their face, "Did you steal this?"

A scoff. "What do you think?"

"Thief," he sneered.

"Teenager," Autumn fired back, snatching the mirror from him. Their friend began to laugh. "Stop acting like it's your wedding, mister Orpheus." Autumn rested the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically. "Oh so in love with some girl he just met—"

"Who's Orpheus?"

Autumn gawked at him. "Kieran, do you even know what musical you're watching?"

"Hadestown."

"And do you remember what it's about?"

"Not a clue."