I'll Share With You My Heartbeat

twenty three

We say words fail me yet we speak anyway because what else is the use of our tongue if not to describe worlds of novelty?

Kieran felt as if a whole language was stolen from his lips that moment. When words failed, he uttered out a sound of stupefaction and he clutched his stomach. Everything— all he had ever known— had shattered in an instant. So overwhelming that if he concentrated hard enough, the shards would've plummeted through his chest and left him in another death maze.

Nothing was real.

The books were not books. The library was made of sand. Autumn was not a friend, but just another season. And Autumn was calling his name but he couldn't hear a syllable.

He had tunnel-visioned towards this girl he just called his sister. Suddenly he was three years old again— He remembered!— taping labels to household items he could not pronounce.

But sister he could pronounce.

"Kieran, Kieran, Kieran."

The ravenhead cried out when a sharp blow was delivered to his cheek. His shock was successfully averted to something else. "Autumn!"

"Answer me, for heaven's sake!" they barked back, "You blanked out for a good minute. It freaked me out!"

Kieran tutted, rubbing his sore cheek. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"So you think—" Autumn let the words clog in their throat, glancing towards the girl who sat comfortably in her beanbag, completely unaware of the two ghosts watching her.

Kieran shook his head. "I know."

They approached her like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow— except the rainbow was awful, gravel road that Kieran had clawed his way through.

"What's her name?" Autumn murmured, brows bunched together.

They stood at her sides. Kieran saw her shiver and pull her bomber jacket closer.

He peered down at her notes, spotting the name written on the top left corner. "Sara... Sara Li." An uncontrollable smile expanded on his face. "My last name is Li!"

Joy exploded through every crevice of Kieran's being.

"Autumn!" He launched himself at them.

Autumn wobbled back at the force of their friend's embrace. "Okay okay." They smiled gently, patting the ravenhead on the back. "No need to get all mushy gushy."

"You just found my sister." Kieran pulled back and shook their shoulders. "Am I not allowed to get mushy gushy over this?"

"You owe me."

"I owe you."

The ravenhead kneeled, placing a hand on Sara's knee and watching her move away with a shudder. Her jaw tensed and she remained engrossed in her studies.

Kieran saw the resemblance. He saw himself in the face of another.

"H-hi," he stammered out, reaching out to touch her again as if in pure fascination, "You're my flesh and blood."

Autumn parted their lips to speak, but suddenly Kieran had sprung to his feet.

"My last name is Li!" he shouted once again, glowing in newfound jubilation, "Oh my god, I need to tell Lennon— My full name is Kieran Li."

"Okay, hold your horses there, mister." Autumn seized his sleeve before he could make his getaway. "Your sister is right in front of you and you want to leave? What's more important than this? Than following her home and finding your ticket?"